June 30. 2009 by Lindy.

I saw Dr. VanderWoude (oncologist) this morning.  I’m happy and thankful to say the tumor is shrinking!  She was pleased with how much smaller it is today than the last two visits.  It makes suffering through chemo worth it.  I was hoping this meant I would only have one more round of A/C.  No luck.  She reminded me that the four rounds following A/C aren’t as bad.  She said in a month I will feel better than what I do now.  I can’t wait to rejoin society. 

Speaking of chemo, I have another round tomorrow.  I hate what it does to me.  We have to laugh because in addition to making me sick, it makes me very confused.  I can’t remember conversations.  I can’t process the simplest things.  I feel so disconnected and foggy.  It’s very strange.

DISCLAIMER:  If I have a conversation with you between tomorrow and next Wednesday I may not remember what we talked about.  Please accept my apologies in advance. 

Lately Brooklyn has been testing words to see if they’re “naughty words”.  Her latest words are hate and dumb.  I can tell if she’s about to test a word by how she approaches me.  Yesterday she came up to me, cocked her head to the side, scrunched her nose and said “mom?” (uh-oh naughty word is coming).  “I hate cancer.  It’s dumb.”  I laughed.  I hate it too.  Then I explained how hate is a strong word and dumb isn’t nice…blah…blah…blah

I meet with the radiation oncologist tomorrow, Dr. Edlund.  I think he’s going to tell me if I need radiation before surgery, after surgery or both.  I’ll let you know.

So my tumor is shrinking.  Chemo is working.  A week of misery is coming.  My strength and endurance come only from God.  There is no other explanation for how I’m getting through this. 

He is using you to help me too.  Thank you for your prayers and communication.  Please keep them coming because they keep me going. 

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June 25. 2009 by Lindy.

I am happy to report that my bone scan is clear!  Thank God!  This is another amazing answer to prayer.  Thank you for your faithfulness in praying for me and my family.  I am so relieved.  You are good and wonderful people.  We are so blessed to have you in our lives. 

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June 24. 2009 by Lindy.

Did I depress you after my last doom and gloom update?  Sorry about that.  Sometimes I just have to unleash.  Thank you for your comments and communication.  They made me feel so much better. 

I’m feeling better today.  I’m starting to realize that I have one bad week (right after chemo) followed by an okay week.  I’ll take what I can get ya know?  I had a good time hanging out with the Jill’s today.  Jill G hung out with me all day and took care of my kids.  Jill B cleaned my house and gave me a mini pedi.  Tammy and the kids brought some beautiful flowers and notes.  Thank God for great friends! 

Some of you were wondering if our new carpet got wet over the weekend.  It turns out the carpet didn’t come in Friday so it hasn’t been put down yet.  It’s a good thing because we did get a little wet. 

The bone scan and fluids went well on Monday.  I had some really nice techs at Holland Hospital who hung out with me during the scan.  :)  The nurse at the cancer center was able to access my port on the first try.  Big relief.  I called for the results of the bone scan today, but I haven’t heard back yet.  I also got my labs drawn today and I’m assuming no news is good news.  

The kids are doing well.  Over the past three days Brooklyn learned how to swim and is brave enough to jump off the diving board (thanks Monica)!   She’s going to VBS at Community Reformed Church and having a ball with that.  Samantha is battling a double ear infection and Max is still our chill little dude.  

Thanks for checking in.  I’ll let you know the results of the bone scan as soon as I get it.  Have a great night! 

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June 22. 2009 by Lindy.

Happy belated Father’s Day!  It’s been a long weekend.  The medicine they gave me helps a little, but not a lot.  I constantly feel sick, nauseas, exhausted and I can see why people ditch chemo.  It is rough.  This is the hardest thing I’ve been through.  Not to brag, but I’ve been through a few things in my 32 years.  I’ll spare you the list, but believe me chemo and cancer top it all. 

I have my bone scan today to see if the cancer has spread to my bones.  I hope it hasn’t.  I also have IV fluids, anti nausea meds and steroids today.  I’m sick of being poked and prodded.  I dread them accessing my port for the fluids.  For some reason the surgeon couldn’t get it in the best position and the nurse has a hard time accessing it.  It hurts.  It’s bruised.  I don’t want them to touch it.  Please pray that she can get it on her first attempt. 

Thank you for everything.  Your prayers are being felt and I need them more than ever.  I’m so tired.  I’m so sick of this.  I don’t want to go through 6 more rounds of chemo.  I need a break. 

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June 19. 2009 by Lindy.

Did you hear the storm last night?  It kept me awake.  While I was tossing and turning I felt hair on my pillow.  I could pull clumps of my hair out.  That told me my hair was coming out today.  I knew in a few hours our kids would be waking up.  My sister-in-law Becky would be here at 8 a.m. to use her loving and caring arms for our kids.  My Uncle Ken is coming to lay carpet in the basement and my dad is coming to move out our washer and dryer.   So at 4 in the morning I decided to shave my head in the quiet and stillness of the house.  It’s done.  My hair is gone.  Not a single tear was shed over the loss of my hair.  It’s liberating.  I am now one of the millions who are follicly challenged.  It’s just hair.  It will grow back. 

Yesterday’s IV fluid and steroids helped the nausea.  It didn’t take it away, but made it tolerable.  It was better than the last round of chemo.  This morning I’m not feeling so hot so I’m glad I go back today for more, fluids, anti-nausea and steroids.

Next week I have one more IV fluid, anti nausea and steroid.  A bone scan at Holland Hospital to check for cancer in my bones and a blood draw for my CBC’s.   

Thank you for your support.  The special gifts  and food dropped off for us and the kids are great!  The communication.  Everything.  We appreciate all of it.  You are truly the hands and feet of Christ.   

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