Impatiently waiting

Do you ever have anything that consumes your thoughts?  Something you can’t shake from your mind?  I wish I had something profound, deep, spiritual or thought provoking that consumes my thoughts, but I’m sorry to say it’s my upcoming surgery.  It’s always on my mind.  I’m anxious.  Nervous.  Excited.  I can say one thing - I’ll be happy when my boobs are attached to my body again.  Do you know how many times I’ve left the house and realized I forgot my boobs?  That is something I never thought I would have to think about. 

I try to think of every possible scenario and find a solution to it.  What if Dr. Song finds he can’t do the DIEP procedure because of my crash c-section?  How long will the surgery take?  What’s recovery going to be like?  Since I can’t lift for six weeks, what about my kids?  Will I be able to walk Brooklyn to her first day of school?  Will I be able to do laundry?  Will I be able to get groceries?  If I can’t stand straight up, how will I sleep?  How will I take a shower? 

Here are my solutions:  Dr. Song won’t know until he opens me up whether I have damage from the crash c-section.  There is a 90% chance that he will be able to do the procedure despite my medical history.  The surgery takes roughly eight hours.  I’ll spend about three days in the ICU.  Recovery is about six weeks.  I won’t be able to stand up straight or lay flat for two weeks.  I can’t lift for six.  I have childcare lined up for Max and Samantha - thank you mom, Jill and Kathy!  I am making freezer meals so my family can eat.  Since I missed Brooklyn’s first day of kindergarten last year, I will be there on her first day of school this year even if I have to crawl.  The laundry and groceries will get done and I’ll sleep in a recliner.  I still can’t stop my need for controlling things!

Information on Dr. Song

Information on the DIEP procedure

I am going to Chicago on Monday to meet with Dr. Song for my pre-op appointment and to meet with Anesthesia Department.  I’m making the most of it by taking Brooklyn, Jill and Avery along.  We’re going to the Shedd Aquarium when I’m done.  Fun!

I would like to think that cancer doesn’t exist now that I’ve beat it.  It’s still out there and still attacking young women/moms!  I’ve met a new friend at the end of my cancer last year who was just diagnosed at the time (hi Amy!).  I’ve been in contact with Lynette Bell who I know many of you are friends with or have heard of.  I met another young mom in Meijer a few weeks ago (hi Heather) who is going through the same treatment as I went through last summer.  How I met Heather is amazing and only something God could do.  Since this post is quite long I will blog about that meeting another time.  So now I follow their blogs and pray for them the same way people prayed for me.

Pucker up!

This entry was posted on 20. July 2010 at 02:37 and is filed under Feeling, What's New. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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