Oh how things have changed in the past two years. Brooklyn was five when I was first diagnosed. I remember telling her that I have cancer and her response was something like “Oh no. Can I watch a movie now?”
Saturday night Dusty and I were in the living room watching TV. The kids had been in a bed for well over an hour, Brooklyn must have had trouble getting to sleep. She walked in the living room with tears rolling down her cheeks and in a very small voice she asks “Mom…what if the cancer wins?” (more tears and a few sobs). Wow. She’s seven now and has come along way since five. She asked me a similar question when she was five and I said that I will get to go to heaven if the cancer wins. Her response at that time was that I’ll finally know what Jesus and God look like.
I sat there for a while not knowing which answer to go with. We’ve always tried to be as honest as possible with her. Should I be honest again and say I’ll die? This is clearly not the time to talk about mom dying. This poor child is scared out of her mind. She goes on to say “I need a mom”. That sound you may have heard rumble throughout the town was my heart breaking. The only thing I could say was that I want to be her mom and I’m going to fight the cancer with everything I have. I told her the doctors say the disease is stable and I’m doing as good as I can be with my diagnosis. We need to keep praying and trust that God will heal me. She understands that my cancer is from satan and not God. That God loves us. Such a difficult subject to talk about with a seven year old.
It’s amazing who cancer affects and in how many different ways. Poor kid. No seven year old should have to deal with the thoughts that she has. She also sobbed that “daddy will never get married again!” I told her that if I’m not here anymore, daddy could get married again and that I’m okay with it (as long as she’s perfect).
As far as my health, I’ve been tapering off the Prednisone and it’s not going very well. I am going to press on and get off the steroids because I need to. However, I’ve had migraines nearly every day (I think that’s what scares Brooklyn) and my fatigue is getting slightly worse. No fun.
Our house is moving along well. Everyone has been working hard on it.
- Please pray for Brooklyn as she stumbles through the web of cancer.
- Pray that we, as her parents, will know what to say.
- Pray that my adrenal gland kicks into full gear.
- Pray for my Cancer Club friends in their different stages of the disease.
- Praise for my family and friends who help our family in many ways.
Oh girl….I’m sitting here crying…..my mom heart breaks with you. I’m so sorry you all have to continue dealing with this. We are praying always for complete healing.
I’m sorry about the steroids….we have had 4 years of steroids at this house so we somewhat know how awful they are. Lord kick that gland into gear….you made it!, now help it to work the way You designed it to in Jesus name!
HOw fun to see a pic of your house! Let me know if you need any help! We did all the electrical, sanding, painting at our house so we would be glad to help! I know you have good connections through your dad but I really do love to paint if you need help! Building a house is a huge task! 🙂
praying….
Oh Lindy, My heart is breaking for all of you. I hate cancer and everything negative associated with it. I pray constantly for God to remove all of its traces from your body and trust Him to do it.
We love you guys so much!
Lindy, You do not know me but I have been following your blog and praying for a complete recovery for you. Sally Kibler is a dear friend of mine and she sent me your web address back in August. You are a remarkable person and it is clear the Holy Spirit abides in you! Thank you for sharing your journey and doing it with such love and honesty. Good luck with the building of your home if I lived closer (NC here)I would gladly come and help you!
FAITH NOT FEAR!!! Cancer is not going to win!! Love you guys!!
Oh…Lindy, my heart is breaking with you guys. Wow! Cancer sucks. Poor Brooklyn. We will continue to pray for complete healing in Jesus name.
How do you answer that question? Sweet, sweet Brooklyn. It is not fair for any of you to have to go through this. I can imagine the heartache, the desperate feeling of wanting so badly to be better. You deserve to get better!! I think about you every day and you are such an amazing example and have been so strong through this LONG storm. Praying for complete healing, for the right words for Brooklyn, for strength for you and Dustin and everyone that is helping you out. Praying that God gives you what you need to get through each day and joy in this new home! Blessings to you all!
Hey there Lindy. What a tough, tough question to be asked and what a graceful and loving answer you gave your sweet girl. Surely the Holy Spirit was in your (broken) heart in that moment. My own heart breaks for you over and over again throughout this journey, but I pray with confidence to the God of all healing, and will continue to demand complete healing for you. That’s right, demand it. No more Mrs. Nice Guy. 🙂 Thanks for the honest updates, it helps us know just how to place you before the Throne.
Love,
Susan
Hey Lindy,
We will keep praying for you guys – especially for Brooklyn during this time. My heart breaks for her and for you! You will win 🙂
Love ya!
Lindsay
I just want you to know what an awesome child you have! She is truely special! She couldn’t be any sweeter. This past year she has been so nice to my son as he struggles with ADHD and she has stuck by him, reminding him to pay attention. Brandon is still looking forward to that playdate with Brookyln, if the weather ever gets better! I would love to take both of them to the park to play. I will pray that she can somehow try to understand, I will pray that you will feel the healing hand of God! Take care, praying everyday!
Tracy Meyer
Praying that you will feel Gods leading as you answer those very hard questions.Praying for Brooklyn as she goes through this horrible time.Praying for Gods complete healing for you!! We know he can!!
What if it doesn’t?
Praying for you Lindy! No headaches today!
Brooklyn will always have a mother! No matter if she is 7 or 97 she will remember the lessons you set.
Praying right along side you.
Praying for you guys every day and we’re so blessed to call you friends! I’m so sorry you’re going through this tough time. We know God will come through for you and that “miracles DO happen!!” Love you guys!
praying….with love, barb
On my knees for you.
Bless her heart…praying for you all
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