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Ver Beek Blog

Our young family battling stage IV breast cancer one day at a time
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See Jesus

posted by:
Lindy

My grandma has been wanting to go see Jesus for a while.  On Saturday, at the age of 92, she got her wish.  She fell at the nursing home, fractured her hip and hit her head.  Fifteen hours later she was home with Jesus.  She went peacefully.  What a blessing.

We had the visitation last night and the is funeral today.  She was an awesome, tough as nails, yet tenderhearted woman.  She made quilts, pies and balkenbrij.  Balkenbrij is a Dutch dish and you don’t want to know what’s in it.  Okay I’ll tell you.  Pigs head.  That’s right.  You take a pigs head, boil it and pull the meat off, smoosh it up with other stuff and make a loaf out of it.  Cut it into slices and fry it.  Eeeeewwwww.  My dad loves it.  She always had lemon drops and peppermints on her counter.  She will be missed, but I smile because she’s with Jesus – right where she wanted to be.

I was able to see most of my aunts and uncles last night who I haven’t seen since my latest cancer findings.  They were so encouraging and really lifted my spirits.  I was talking to my Uncle Gary about how this is the third time cancer has been found and it gets so hard.  Hard to understand why this keeps happening to me.  Hard to think about what treatment to do.  Hard to think about the road ahead.

My Uncle Gary and Aunt Shirley go to Forest Grove CRC.  Recently they had a guest pastor who had a very inspiring message.  He said if you could ask the people in heaven one question, what would it be?  He said “Was it worth it?”  Abraham – Was it worth leaving everything and going to the desert all those years?  Moses – Was it worth it?  Job – Was it worth it?  Paul – Was it worth it?  Amazing, thought provoking question for me.  It’s still running through my mind.  Was it worth it.  All this cancer in me and the hell it keeps putting my family through is for a reason.  Don’t know what the reason is, but I was chosen to bear this cross and I will.  Someday we’ll stand at the pearly gates and be asked “was it worth it”?  Now that’s perspective.  Thanks Uncle Gary.

Please pray for guidance for Dusty and I as we meet with Dr. Schott on Friday to discuss treatment courses.

11 Responses to “See Jesus”

  1. Megan Van Kampen says:

    I know what you mean Lindy. I used to put my family first before Him not realizing it and just loving my life so much I wanted nothing to ever change. But that’s not life. After the love He’s shown and the joy I’ve found in a terrifying situation I realize that this life on Earth can be wonderful but it’s also so hard and the ultimate prize in coming! We have nothing to fear because God is with us and no matter what happens to us we are His children and will see deliverance. I still believe in His power and we need to keep believing and trusting. I am praying hard for you!! God is leading you and loves you so much.

  2. dad ver beek says:

    Dear Lindy…. What a wonderful blog. Your Grandma would
    be so proud of you. You are remarkable. I’m proud you are my daughter in-law. Dusty is one lucky guy. God Bless…. Dad

  3. Barb Dannenberg says:

    Thankful for your perspective and thankful that God sends others (like your Uncle Gary!) with an appropriate message of hope to you at just the right time.
    Will be praying for you & Dusty on Friday (as always!)

  4. Aunt Carole says:

    Lindy, I think Uncle Gary is like your Grandma-he’s a man of not so many words, but when he does speak, you know to really listen. It’s his gift. We all have our gifts, and alot of the time they get refined thru the fire. I must say, with all the fire you’ve been through so far, you are shining! Your words, also, speak volumns. You are an inspiration to us all. Not that I would wish the cancer on you for that to happen, but you have accepted the burden and you are using to the higher calling to glorify God – and you are doing it very well. Just hang on to Jesus, find that sweet spot as you rest your head on his heart, listen to His heart beat as it beats right in time with yours, and know that you are in the safest place you could ever be. We all cotinue to wrap our arms of love around you and lift you up in prayer…

  5. tracy meyer says:

    Lindy, I am so sorry at the passing of your Grandmother but rejoicing for she is with Jesus! I will be thinking and praying for you and Dusty as you decide on the next course to take. ((((hugs))))

    Tracy Meyer

  6. Amy Sluiter says:

    Lindy, Your faith is amazing! I’m so sorry for all that you’re going through. I pray that God continues to give you healing, strength, wisdom, and that eternal perspective that we all need to remember. You are dearly loved! Amy

  7. kathy says:

    Lindy, I can see that Brooklyn’s gift for writing, books for all her class mates so they don’t forget her over the summer, comes from you. You and Dusty are teaching her, and the little ones, so many things through your words and actions…loving God and trusting Him, loving others, compassion, decision making, team work, gratitude. The list could go on and on. Your children are so blessed they have you for their mom and Dusty for their dad. I praise God for all of you.
    Love you, Kathy

  8. Tina Amaya says:

    Lindy – I tried to comment yesterday, but I was not able to… so I am back again today and your entry has me in tears. Grandmas are God’s special angels to us, and it sounds like you had a great one. I am sorry for your loss, but happy that you had such a special relationship with your grandma. I had to laugh about the balkenbrij…. being dutch I know that this is. Eeew is right! We will continue to hold you and Dusty up in our prayers for wisdom, guidance and peace that only God can give. Sending love and hugs! Tina

  9. Joel Vanderveen says:

    Lindy, I don’t know if it’s worth mentioning, but some friends mentioned from first-hand experience: “A great place for brain tumors is Burzynski Clinic in Texas… right around the corner from M.D. Anderson….they are cutting edge.”

    Your strength and faith is encouraging. So glad God is providing your daily bread.

    Prayers and Blessings, Joel

  10. Kelli Huisenga says:

    I’m sorry to hear of your loss. I loved reading your memories of your Grandma…my grandparents used to make balkinbrij too (we called it ‘barf-n-barf’)…I’ll never understand the stuff! My dad loved it too…I think the tradition ends there! HA. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and your struggles. I’m so blessed by your perspective and thoughts…I’m praying for you guys, especially in this week of decisions.
    By the way…I hope you guys are enjoying your house…it looks amazing! Hope it warms up so you can enjoy that pool!

  11. Carol La Mange says:

    Travel safe to Ann Arbor today and trust that they will guide you to a reasonable decision. I’ll pray for each of your physicians bring to you their very best judgement and clinical knowledge. These are difficult choices of: try the chemo pill or go into a clinical trial. I am a great fan of clinical trials. Without them, no progress in cancer treatment would ever be realized. Surely, with the facts before you, you will make the best choice for yourself and your dear family.

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