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Ver Beek Blog

Our young family battling stage IV breast cancer one day at a time
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Archive for October, 2011

No Offense

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On Tuesday I started another 21 day cycle of chemo.  The infusion went as it did the first time.  I feel so sick.  Like a really bad flu that won’t go away.  My hair is falling out, but not drastically.   I’m not going to shave it off like I did the first time.  I’m going to wait and see what happens.  Maybe it’s just thinning.  That was a possibility.

Last night Brooklyn came home from church.  I was laying on the couch and she came over to give me a hug and kiss good night.  She said “I just really want your cancer to go away.”  I said “Thanks hon.  I do too.”  She said “I want your hair to keep growing.  You know, like it used to be?”  I said “I do too.  That’s what I’m shooting for.”  She said “Remember when you were normal and we used to run around and kick the soccer ball?  I just want your cancer to go away so you can be a normal mom…no offense.”  As she darted down the steps to her room I said “none taken.”  Those were the days.  God willing I’ll have them again.

The birthday party was fantastic.  The twins are three.  They had their 3-year check up on Monday and they healthy little buggers. 

You can do it Max!  Blow!

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Samantha in her tutu

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The kids and their presents

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Chemo

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Chemo and the Clinical Trial Drug is given to me in 21 day cycles.  Two weeks on, one week off.  Start again.  Two weeks on, one week off.  Again and again and again.  My life will be lived in 21 day cycles.  Strange thought.  Right now I’m in my first “week off” and it’s not how I thought it would be.  While it’s not as horrible as A/C and Taxol, it’s not a walk in the park either.  So far I’ve had terrible stomach aches, migraines, extreme fatigue, nausea, vomiting and chills.  On Sunday when it was 80 degrees outside, I was under three blankets and couldn’t get warm.  I wanted to turn on the fireplace and lay in front of it.  I was so tired I laid on the couch or bed all day.

I’d like to say THANK YOU for all the freezer meals.  They are being used faster than what I thought.  They’ve been such a blessing.  Dusty has his hands full with the kids so it’s one less thing for him to do.  We’re fine with them eating mac and cheese or spaghettios, but not at every meal.  So this gives both of us peace of mind that they’re getting a good meal too.  God bless you.

On a brighter note, it’s birthday season in our household.  Believe it or not, but Max and Samantha turn three on Saturday.  It’s been so fun watching them grow.  Kind of sad because I feel like I’ve been doing it from the sidelines, but blessed that I’ve been here nonetheless.  Max loves wearing his Detroit Tigers hat and his sunglasses.  He loves riding the tractor with Papa Mel and going to “Donald’s” (McDonalds) for nuggets and “hot fries” with Papa Dale.  Samantha calls everyone in the family “honey pie” and jumps all around.  She loves watching Mickey Mouse and it’s what she asks for from sun up to sun down.  She also follows her big sister wherever she goes.

My dad and Jill both have their birthdays next week Tuesday, October 18.  I will not divulge their ages, but if you see them, give them a big hug and wish them happy birthday.

Brooklyn turns eight on Sunday, October 23!  Can you believe that?!  EIGHT!  I look at her little life and realize she’s been through so much.  The past three years haven’t been easy or normal for her.  Whatever normal is.  I remember when Max and Samantha were born she was nine days away from turning five.  She was so confused as to where her sister was and why she couldn’t see her.  She would come to the hospital and hold Max and then wonder about Samantha.  Nine days later, on Brooklyn’s 5th birthday – October 23, 2008, the doctors at DeVos released Samantha from the hospital.  Brooklyn still talks about that being the best birthday present.

So in a nutshell, life is tiring and busy right now.  I am greatly blessed by having the husband, kids, family and friends that I do.  I couldn’t do this without them.

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