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Ver Beek Blog

Our young family battling stage IV breast cancer one day at a time
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Six Months

posted by:
Lindy

Since my last post I had another blood transfusion (last Friday) and thoracentesis (this past Monday). 

I said to Dusty that ever since I went to the ER and spent a week in Spectrum a few months ago that things with my cancer have changed.  For the worse.  Yes the chemo is shrinking the spots we can see, but it’s clearly not helping with the fluid.  The doctor who performed the procedure said I would probably have this every three to four weeks!  Ouch!  Having the fluid drained hurts.   

Last Wednesday we met with Dr. VanderWoude.  She thought it was going to be a routine visit until I dropped this question on her.  “What’s my prognosis?”  She sat down and explained to me and Dusty that I’m at the point where  chemo, any chemo, is not going to give me more time.  She said I can keep taking the chemo if it makes me feel like I’m “fighting”, but she said that if I choose to stop treatment it’s not giving up.  I would be opting for a better quality of life.  Chemo made me miserable.  It was no way to live.  Most of my time was spent sleeping or in bed.  We left her office with a big decision to make.    

After an afternoon of ups and downs, prayers, thoughts, and questions, Dusty and I decided to stop the chemo.  I’m done with the misery.  Dr. VanderWoude estimates I have 6 months left (give or take). 

We are now working with Hospice.  I will meet my nurse tomorrow.  Her name is Jane. 

Please pray for our family as we work through this new phase of life and guide our children through it.  Pray for the kids.  Our family.  Our parents.  Our friends. 

We’ve been blessed by so many.  I will update my blog whenever anything exciting happens.  I promise.    

Thank you to everyone for bringing us meals, the gifts cards, and donations.   

We will continue to have all communication go through Dani.

Please do not stop by unannounced.  We just can’t deal with that right now.       

70 Responses to “Six Months”

  1. Aunt Carole says:

    “The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord lift His countenance upon you, and give you peace, and give you peace; The Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious, and be gracious, The Lord be gracious, gracious unto you. Amen” Just know, Dusty & Lindy, that you have not ever gone where God has not gone before you, and you have not ever journeyed where God has not journeyed with you. Our love and prayers continue on for you and your family as we continue to pray for miracles, and as you continue to teach us all so much about life, about loving God, and about finding peace as you live in the center of His will.

  2. Barb Dannenberg says:

    I have no words. Only prayers for you and your family.

  3. LIndsey says:

    Oh Lindy and Dusty… i agree with Barb. There are no words. Love and prayers always, now and in the hours, days and months ahead.

  4. Betsi Roelofs says:

    Praying. Still and always. Love you all!

  5. Megan VK says:

    I’m sitting here crying and praying for you guys. What an incredibly hard decision. You are in God’s hands and we’ll just keep praying! You guys are always in my thoughts and prayers. So strong. All I can say. You guys are amazing. Thank you for the updates, Lindy. Wish I could give you a big hug!

  6. Erica Hamilton says:

    I am praying, and praying. I have no words – asking God to hold you tightly in the palms of His hands….

  7. Katherine Baas says:

    Hugs to you all…it takes a lot of courage to choose hospice. Our experience with hospice was great and for our other kids it was so good for them to get to know the hospice team before Gerrit died, they were all friends not just “nurses” by the time he passed away. There are no words to express my sorrow to you all so I won’t attempt.

    Kathy Baas

  8. Heather Caywood says:

    We will be praying for you all, may you experience God’s peace even in extremely difficult and heartbreaking circumstances, a peace that passes all understanding!

  9. Amy Machiela says:

    Overwhelmed by emotion and keeping you close in prayer. Like the others, I have no words, just lots and lots of prayers.

  10. Jennifer says:

    Dear Lindy and family,
    Thinking of you and praying for you constantly. You have helped me to be a better wife, mother and teacher. You are amazing – I pray that you may feel the Lord’s presence in each moment.

  11. Miska Rynsburger says:

    You are each fully on our hearts, in our minds and the focus of our talks with God. May he offer you peace and may you feel some warmth of the deep love of those around you.

  12. barb baumann says:

    Praying for you, Dusty and the kids……..”He tends His flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young”

  13. Betsy Kikstra says:

    Prayers for you all and tears; there are indeed no words.

  14. Jennifer says:

    Dear Lindy and family,
    Praying for you constantly. You have made me a better wife, mother, teacher – you are amazing. I pray that you feel the Lord’s presence in each moment.

  15. Jill Ellerbroek says:

    We are praying for absolute peace and calm for you and your family, Lindy. Hospice is a wonderful thing…they will guide you, Dusty and the kids through this next step with such comfort and love.

  16. Tina Amaya says:

    Dusty and Lindy, there will never be adequate words. Prayers will continue to be lifted. We love you all and are amazed at your continued strength. God has used you all greatly and He will continue to do so. You are held in the palm of His hand. With much love, the Amayas

  17. Tammy and Randy says:

    Dusty and Lindy, we are praying with you and your family as you are making these difficult decisions. We pray you’ll feel God’s peace and gentle strength in the upcoming days. It is truly an honor to call you friends. Thank you for the strength and honesty that you have shown through all of this, Lindy you are truly an Amazing Women of God! Proverbs 31….vs.28 “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”……vs.30b “but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Love to you all!

  18. Tara says:

    your family will be in my prayers every day.

  19. Sue Gruessing says:

    For years we have been continually thinking and praying for you and your entire family. Grace and Peace.

  20. Amy Sluiter says:

    Lindy, I am so sorry. You are an amazing example of courage and strength. I’m praying constantly, believing that the power of Christ that lives within you fills you with everything you need for each moment. I pray you may be surrounded by His incredible love for you and His peace that passes understanding. Trusting God to give His strength, peace, love, and hope to Dusty and the kids, too. Love you guys!

  21. Jennifer Cousins says:

    Lindy, your courage and faith are amazing to me. You have always been so strong through this journey. Please know that I am praying for not only your peace and comfort, but I pray that your family and friends can have that as well. You have an incredible family and network of support. You are loved more than you know.

  22. Wendy says:

    Lindy, Praying for you and your family.

  23. Sue Ensing says:

    Thoughts and prayers are with you and the whole family, we love you guys!

  24. Jamie Fisher says:

    Lindy, you and your family have been an inspiration; a clear and crisp image of Jesus. I’m crying and praying for you and your family and you have been and will continue to be in our prayers every single day.

  25. Leah Koopman says:

    Praying for your family!!!

  26. Shana Washington says:

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and the family…..I think about you all everyday.

  27. Ruby Ensing says:

    Thinking of you and your family, Lindy.

  28. Susan Alberda says:

    Dear Lindy, we are praying for you, and for Dusty, and for the kids. There are no words more powerful than the ones we offer up to the Throne. May you experience that power in your life and in the life of your family now and in the days to come. Love you, friend. ~Susan

  29. Donna Bunce says:

    praying for you all, “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Dusty and Lindy, Do not fear, I will help you.”

  30. Holly says:

    You are loved with an Everlasting Love. Rest in Him. I pray for new levels of faith and trust for your family. May God bless you all!

  31. Paige says:

    Tears are flowing from the Paw Paw Gang. We will continue to lift you and the family up to our Lord and Savior Lindy. May His peace wash over you during the decisions you have made and will make soon.

  32. Lil Koning says:

    Love and prayers.

  33. John and Pam Jacobs Family says:

    We pray that you will have an over abundant amount of peace with this decision that you both have made. May you continue to feel all the love and strength and support from our prayers that we as your friends and family surround you with.

  34. Anonymous says:

    dear Lindy, i am sorry to hear that your treatments are no longer working we will be thinking of you and your family over the next few months. At this point have you ever considered or looked at taking high levels of vitamin C, I do not know much about how well it all works but is said to have healing effects in high doses, anyway.. thinking of you guys

  35. Melinda Buss says:

    Lindy and family (Jana Ver Beek)
    Prayers from a stranger in Minnesota 🙂 Jana and I went to college together. I’m praying our good Lord will care for you in His purpose.
    “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

  36. Jenny says:

    No words, just lots of prayers and love!

  37. Bev says:

    All my words fall short, empty, hollow. Of course they are not meant that way, but to me, that’s how they seem. So I pray you hear instead only His voice…softly…clearly…gently….sweetly. Oh how He loves you. Oh how He loves me. Oh how He loves you and me! What have I to dread? What have I to fear leaning on the everlasting arms? I have blessed peace with my Lord so dear, leaning on the everlasting arms. Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms. Leaning (on Jesus), leaning (on Jesus), leaning on the everlasting arms. He is the Rock, He is the Rock of Ages, He is the Rock, the chief and Cornerstone. He is the Rock, He is the sure Foundation. I will put my trust in the Lord! Sweet Lindy, may His peace be your peace, His strength your strength, through every day and every hour. Draw your strength from His. Find your rest and joy in Him as you continue to trust and hope and persevere. At the same time, allow yourself to be carried by the prayers of the army lifting them up. We love you so. He loves you so much more.
    Continuing to hope and trust for you when I know those words elude you. Love, hugs, and prayers, for you, for Dusty, for your children.

  38. Chris Lowe says:

    We love you and your family. We will continue to pray for the joys and challenges you face ahead. Lots of tears and prayers on your behalf.

  39. JOANN says:

    Dear sweet sister in Christ,
    Bless you and keep you safe and warm in the comfort of our Savior’s arms. You are a princess, daughter of the King of Kings. Your crown will be so beautiful and your children are blessed. Praying for you and your family.
    Joann

  40. Chad Bosman says:

    I am here if you and Dusty need anything. You and your family has shown me such kindness over the years and I think and pray for all of you often.

  41. Aunt Shirley and Uncle Gary says:

    Dear Lindy and Dusty and the family,
    Praying for you and your family and your friends.
    I love music when the scriptures come alive. We pray you feel comfort in the words of this song. Paraphrased from Isaiah 49 and Psalm 139
    “I will be with you for I am the Lord your God. I will be with you, I have called you by name, you are mine! It is I who created and formed you, you are precious and honored in my sight. I am the Lord Your God I will be with you – called you by name – you are mine. Do not fear, for I have redeemed you, I am the Lord your God – YOU ARE MINE”. We love you!!!

  42. Val (DeRoo) Leegwater says:

    Praying for all of you as you go through this difficult time. We will be praying that you may have renewed strength and energy to enjoy this time with your children and make as many memories as you can. We will also be praying for peace during this time, that you may feel the peace of Christ that transcends all understanding. May you rest in Him and enjoy this time fully knowing the Lord is holding you in His righteous right hand and is walking with you every step of the way. “Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace at all times and in every way. ” 2 Thess. 3:16

  43. Marcia says:

    There are no words… just lots of prayers for you and your precious family.

  44. Ross and Erin Wassink says:

    Hi lindy. My husband Ross used to work with mel and we’ve been reading your blogs as your family has been battling cancer. We just want you to know that we are praying for you and your kids and all of your family. “trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thy own understanding. In all thy ways acknowlege Him and He will direct thy path”

  45. Anonymous says:

    http://www.squidoo.com/rick-simpson-hemp-oil
    Dusty and Lindy… PLEASE read.. There are miracles all around us every day.. Thoughts and prayers continue.

  46. Kuntzie says:

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I was Jana’s college roommate for a year. She has been giving me your updates. I feel like I know you and your family through what she has told me. I will be praying for you and your family. I hope that you enjoy the time you have left with your family.

  47. Ann says:

    Sorry and saddened to read this. Will be praying for you and your family!!

  48. Becca Wyngarden says:

    Our family is thinking of all of you at this time. Hoping for God’s peace to cloak you and comfort you.

  49. Marianne Coughenour says:

    Lindy, when Rachel told me of your email to friends of your prognosis and decision, my first response, after crying, was “I just don’t get it. Literally thousands of people have prayed for her healing. And God just says ‘No’??” And this side of heaven, we won’t know why. But this is what I believe: your shining faith and honesty in your blogs have touched those thousands of people. And when you get to heaven, just as in the song ‘Thank You,” I think there will be a LINE of people coming to you and saying “I am a life that was changed.”
    Now, though, I pray for many good days for you and your precious family. For your strength to rebound, for peace that passes understanding, for moments of unexpected joy.

  50. Shana Anglin says:

    Still thinking about you all and praying for you….

  51. Julie Meyers says:

    Lindy & Dusty…I keep writing and then deleting it…I just don’t know what to so, only that you have been on my mind non-stop and each time it brings so many tears. I think Marianne (Coughenour) said it well and I like how she ended it…”moments of unexpected joy.” I have been praying for you all week that while you’re away with your family that God would just take any thoughts of all that’s going on from your mind so that you can just rest and enjoy your precious family without anything getting in the way. We love you so much…..

  52. Laurie Menken says:

    Dusty and Linday, I have no words. But I’m going to keep praying for you and your family.

  53. Jamie Fisher says:

    Just checking in to let you know you’re still on my mind every single day. Loving you, lifting you up, and praying for moments of substance with your family!

  54. Megan VK says:

    Thinking and praying for you…

    Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

    ~ John 14:27

  55. karen A says:

    No words can express how I feel, but I will continue to pray for all of your family and friends as they walk this road with you.

  56. Mindy says:

    We will never stop praying for a miracle !

  57. Diana Terpstra says:

    Lindy and Dusty-
    You have been on my mind alot lately. I wish i had the perfect words to say, but I admire your strength and courage so much, it brings me to tears thinking about all you are going through. We continue to pray for you and your family.

  58. Missy Klinge says:

    Lindy, I do not know you personally but I have been following your story for a long time now. I am so deeply saddened to hear this news. Through your story you have remained such a HUGE source of positivity to me. Reading your blog and seeing everything you have and are going through but yet maintain positivity, such strength and determintation, love for God, and such love and care and concern for your friends and family is truely amazing. You are amazing to me! I think of you so much and always prayed for you and your family and so much for your kids!! You have a amazing support group, husband, and family surrounding you. You are so loved!!!! May God bless you during your time with Love, comfort, happiness, and joy with all those who love you. You are a TRUE inspiration to so many!!

  59. Tracey says:

    Lifting your family up in prayer.

  60. Tracy & Robert Amid says:

    Praying and praying! I hope you feel the warmth of God’s loving arms wrapped around you all..

  61. Betty Kroll says:

    Dear Lindy and Dusty and family; I just want you to know that I will continue to pray for all of you as you go thru this part of your journey!! Just know that you are covered by Gods almighty arms!

  62. Aunt Carole says:

    Dear Lindy, God gave me a true picture this weekend of His love for you, and your love for Him. I went with Tiff to take Malina to ER this weekend-high fever, vomiting, & ear infection. She was miserable! All she did was cling to Tiff. All she wanted was to feel her Mama’s arms enfolding her and hear her soft voice quieting her – assuring her that Mama was there for her & was never going to leave her or let go-wiping her every tear. All Tiff wanted was to comfort her & take her pain away. All Tiff wanted was for Malina to know how much she loved her-wishing she could be the one suffering instead of Malina. All Tiff wanted was to wipe her every tear. They were so enveloped into each other that I saw not two persons, but one-drawing life, hope, love, and peace from each other. So it is with God and you. Never letting go of each other, clinging to each other, being enveloped into each others arms. You hold tight to your Savior, knowing the very beat of His heart, hearing His quiet voice as no one else knows, knowing He knows your pain like no one else knows, letting Him wipe your every tear. And all the while, all through your journey, God wants you to know how much His great love for you is, holding you so tight you know the very imprint of His fingers on your heart, quieting your soul with His whispering breath. He in you, you in Him. One-drawing life, hope, love, and peace from each other. And so we love you and your family-wrapping our arms around you, praying life, hope, and peace for you. Shalom, precious child of God.

  63. Sande Q. says:

    Sending prayers and love. I’m hugging you from here.

  64. Jamie Fisher says:

    Dropping in again to make sure you know you’re still on my mind. I’m praying that you and your family are embracing every moment together, and I’m praying that there are many many many moments to embrace. Praying for your strength: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Loving you Lindy!

  65. Livvy says:

    Lindy & Dusty, I’ve read this post about a dozen times since you posted it. I keep wanting to comment, but I don’t have the words. I just cry every time I read it. I think about you every day. I know that you trust that this journey is all a part of God’s plan for your lives, and I do, too. Know that we are praying for God’s grace and mercy for you and your family. You are beyond brave, Lindy. xoxo

  66. Deb Huizenga says:

    Please know you are covered with prayers! God continues to use you for His glory-praying you feel His presence!

  67. Lynae Stielstra says:

    Lindy and Dusty- I continue to pray for you daily as you walk this road. Your faith has just shown through in all that you have written. May you feel His love and peace.

  68. Kristi O'Neill says:

    Verbeek family, Thinking of you all often and sending love from my family…

  69. karen says:

    I am so sorry Lindy…all I can say is that you, your kids, and husband are in my thought and prayers. You are the strongest person I know. I wish you peace and comfort.

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