20. July 2010 by Lindy.

Do you ever have anything that consumes your thoughts?  Something you can’t shake from your mind?  I wish I had something profound, deep, spiritual or thought provoking that consumes my thoughts, but I’m sorry to say it’s my upcoming surgery.  It’s always on my mind.  I’m anxious.  Nervous.  Excited.  I can say one thing - I’ll be happy when my boobs are attached to my body again.  Do you know how many times I’ve left the house and realized I forgot my boobs?  That is something I never thought I would have to think about. 

I try to think of every possible scenario and find a solution to it.  What if Dr. Song finds he can’t do the DIEP procedure because of my crash c-section?  How long will the surgery take?  What’s recovery going to be like?  Since I can’t lift for six weeks, what about my kids?  Will I be able to walk Brooklyn to her first day of school?  Will I be able to do laundry?  Will I be able to get groceries?  If I can’t stand straight up, how will I sleep?  How will I take a shower? 

Here are my solutions:  Dr. Song won’t know until he opens me up whether I have damage from the crash c-section.  There is a 90% chance that he will be able to do the procedure despite my medical history.  The surgery takes roughly eight hours.  I’ll spend about three days in the ICU.  Recovery is about six weeks.  I won’t be able to stand up straight or lay flat for two weeks.  I can’t lift for six.  I have childcare lined up for Max and Samantha - thank you mom, Jill and Kathy!  I am making freezer meals so my family can eat.  Since I missed Brooklyn’s first day of kindergarten last year, I will be there on her first day of school this year even if I have to crawl.  The laundry and groceries will get done and I’ll sleep in a recliner.  I still can’t stop my need for controlling things!

Information on Dr. Song

Information on the DIEP procedure

I am going to Chicago on Monday to meet with Dr. Song for my pre-op appointment and to meet with Anesthesia Department.  I’m making the most of it by taking Brooklyn, Jill and Avery along.  We’re going to the Shedd Aquarium when I’m done.  Fun!

I would like to think that cancer doesn’t exist now that I’ve beat it.  It’s still out there and still attacking young women/moms!  I’ve met a new friend at the end of my cancer last year who was just diagnosed at the time (hi Amy!).  I’ve been in contact with Lynette Bell who I know many of you are friends with or have heard of.  I met another young mom in Meijer a few weeks ago (hi Heather) who is going through the same treatment as I went through last summer.  How I met Heather is amazing and only something God could do.  Since this post is quite long I will blog about that meeting another time.  So now I follow their blogs and pray for them the same way people prayed for me.

Pucker up!

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7. June 2010 by Dustin Ver Beek.

The Good

Things have been going well with my health lately.  My energy is back to normal and I feel like a regular mom with three little kids.  My range of motion on my right side has improved and with continued physical therapy I hope it gets back to the way it was.  I am anxiously anticipating surgery on August 24 at the University of Chicago.  Foobs here I come!

Another good thing is that Samantha was seen by Early On last week Thursday and they are done following her!  Diane from Early On has been following her since she was born to make sure she meets/exceeds her milestones and to watch for signs from her birth trauma - developmental delays, cerebral palsy, etc.  She has been on point this entire time and continues to be our little miracle. 

Brooklyn just completed Kindergarten and is looking forward to summer despite missing all her kindergarten friends. 

The Bad

Dusty’s mom has been at Hospice House for over a week now.  She is dying.  It’s an awful process to watch someone go through.  She is so weak and weighs only 70 pounds.  Please pray for her, Dale (Dusty’s dad) and the family.  Pray that she’ll have peace and be comfortable. 

The Ugly

Ugly…I don’t know what’s ugly, but I felt like it goes with the good and the bad so I had to include it.  If I had to pick something ugly I would say my hair.  It confuses me.  It challenges me.  It makes me laugh.  I don’t know what to do with it.  It’s super curly and thick.  It’s high maintenance.  I haven’t had a hair cut in over a year and I can start to see the beginning signs of a mullet forming so I think a little trim in the back might help (I’m coming Jenny!). 

It was a year ago on June 3 that I had my first chemo treatment.  I don’t ever want to experience a summer like the summer of 2009 again.  I’ll never be the same because of it - physically, emotionally and mentally.  As I like to say - it is what it is.  I’m glad it’s over and I’m looking forward to this summer. 

I’ll see you around…

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31. May 2010 by Dustin Ver Beek.

We took a short vacation up to the Michigan Upper Peninsula two weeks ago.  It was the first time we were actually able to get away in two years.  Brooklyn went with us, so it was nice to have some one-on-one time with her.  She’s gone through a lot the last few years.  She’s becoming such a little lady. 

We are anticipating the first reconstructive surgery at the University of Chicago Hospital, scheduled for the end of August.  This Memorial Day weekend marks the one year anniversary of the cancer diagnosis-it’s hard to believe it’s only been a year.  In many ways it feels like it’s been five.

Tahquamenon Falls State Park

Making a Wish in St. Ignace (Straits State Park)

Mackinac Island

Hanging out at the Cabin

Taking a walk with Dad

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15. April 2010 by Lindy.

Spring is here.  In more ways than one.  Those of you who’ve experienced a “winter” in your lives know what I mean when I say SPRING IS HERE! 

I’ll get the health stuff out of the way first: 

I had my blood rechecked on Monday and everything looks good!  Praise God.  My hemoglobin was 12-point-something and my electrolytes are normal.  That is a huge relief yet a little frustrating because I’m still pretty tired.  My energy level is not where I want it to be.  I liked it when I could blame my lack of energy on my anemia.  Hopefully I’ll be back to normal soon because I envision a lot of walks, bike rides and fun activities with the kids this summer. 

I’m returning to physical therapy tomorrow because I’m losing a little mobility on my right side.  It’s painful to lift my right arm all the way up.  As a matter of fact, I can get it to a certain point and it won’t go any higher.  Very strange feeling, but I think with the proper therapy I’ll be back to normal again.

Even though I promised myself I wouldn’t think about reconstruction and enjoy the summer, my mind has been drifting towards August when I have the reconstructive surgery scheduled (August 10) at the University of Chicago with Dr. Song.  I’m second guessing my decision (the procedure, the surgeon, the facility, etc).  I guess that’s normal, because it’s a big deal, but I just want what is best for me and my family.   

Max and Samantha are now 18 months old and they keep me running.  They are everywhere and into everything.  It’s been fun to watch their personalities develop.  Max is a chill little dude and Samantha is very strong willed and knows what she wants when she wants it.  They crack us up with the faces they pull, little smiles and ways of talking. 

Brooklyn is nearing the end of her kindergarten year.  She recently learned how to ride a two-wheeler and we bought her a new bike.  She’s so excited for “sprinkler weather”. 

Dusty is doing great.  He has a new assignment at work that is keeping him on his toes, but he seems to be enjoying it. 

For your viewing pleasure: 

Dusty, Samantha and Brooklyn going to Frederick Meijer Gardens

Max enjoying the first nice day of the year:

Samantha loves climbing and is always on the move

Brooklyn and her friend Avery playing in the creek behind our house

Samantha and Max inspecting the lion

Brooke and Avery at the GR Museum

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25. February 2010 by Lindy.

It feels strange to write something on my cancer blog.  I promised I would update when I had something to say. 

I had a blood draw last week and saw Dr. VanderWoude (oncologist) on Tuesday of this week.  Overall, things look good (praise God).  My hemoglobin is still low at a 10, but it’s better than where I was a month ago which was 9.  Normal is 12-16.  My white blood cell count is low, but not low enough to concern the doctor.  This means that I’m tired (hemoglobin) and that I’m more susceptible to illness (white blood cells) so I need to take extra precautions with washing my hands and staying away from  people with illnesses. 

My every day life is going good, all things considered.  My mom helps me tremendously with Max, Samantha and Brooklyn because I get tired so quickly.   Other than that, things are good.

This past summer when I was going through chemo I would sit in my anti-gravity chair on the front porch.  It was the most comfortable and the fresh air helped.  I was dead tired, sick and fighting like a champion to beat the cancer.  I would see people walk, run, rollerblade or bike past the house and I couldn’t wait to do that again.  I dreamt of the day when I could take my kids for a long walk to the park.  Then while going through radiation I read an article in the Holland Sentinel about climbing the steps of Mt. Pisgah in Holland.  That was my new goal.  As soon as I had enough energy I was going to climb the 239 (I think) steps to the top.  A few weeks ago Brooklyn and I did it.  It was so fun.  I climbed a mountain.  I don’t know if it’s technically a mountain, but it’s called Mt. Pisgah so I’m going with it. 

Here is me and Brooklyn at the top:

Prepare to have your mind blown.  As you know Dusty is the computer/techy guy in our family.  He set up this blog for me and occasionally checks the stats of the blog.  This past summer when I was going through chemo and blogging about my pathetic journey, I had a total of 16,000 unique hits.  That’s a one, six and three zeros people!  I don’t know 16,000 people.  I’m not sharing this with you to massage my ego.  The thought that quickly occured to me was all the comments that I received from you were probably read as well.  Your comments were encouraging and many of them talked about God, quoted scripture or verses of songs.  Just imagine the amount of people you may have reached by your comments.  Amazing.

That’s all for now.  It’s been great seeing so many of you again.  Thank you for your prayers.  Please pray that I will continue to get my energy back and that my blood levels return to normal. 

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18. February 2010 by Dustin Ver Beek.

We are continuing to adjust to the new “normal” around the house.   Since Lindy’s treatments are complete until summer, we’re able to focus more time on family and giving back in any way we can.   We’re enjoying each other and every day we can spend as a ‘normal’ family. 

I was approached a few months back to join the Board of Directors for Compassionate Heart Ministry in Zeeland.   For those that don’t know about Compassionate Heart, it’s a special place where teens and young adults with disabilities can go to socialize, hang out and just enjoy each other in a loving, Christian environment.  Located in City on A Hill, Compassionate Heart serves a part of society that many treat as outcasts.  Cool things happen there. 
Watch the video to learn more. 

Here’s where I appeal for your help.  Lindy and I have seen your awesome generosity and spirit—we’d love to have you rally behind this cause.   On April 20, 2010, Compassionate Heart will hold its only fundraising event “Friends of the Heart” at Faith Reformed Church in Zeeland.  Come, we’ll eat a great dinner together, meet some of the kids/parents, and listen to Chris Klein—someone with a personal story that won’t leave a dry eye in the house.    Your tax deductible donation for the dinner will go 100% towards Compassionate Heart. 

If you can’t make the dinner but want to help in another way, use the form as well.  We’ll get in touch with you.  Thank you so much for making a difference to our youth at Compassionate Heart.

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29. January 2010 by Lindy.

For the past seven weeks my life has been the same thing from 11:45 until 12:30. 

I would pack up the kids, bring them to my parent’s house and go to radiation.

This is LAROC (Lakeshore Area Radiation Oncology Center).  It’s the building where I get radiation done.  There are no bad smells in the building.  It’s not “clinical”.  It’s very zen.  There are water features and soothing music throughout the building.  Oh and carpet.  Not hard vinyl tile floor like a hospital. 

Everyday I would walk in the sliding doors, proceed through the regular waiting room and go to the special waiting room.  I named it special because it’s where people like me wait to get radiated (or what Dusty likes to call radiant).  Then one of the radiation techs calls me back to a room that is built like a vault.  It has a thick steel door and the walls are 4-6′ thick. 

Here are the wonderful radiation techs who I see every day.  Marie, Karen, A GVSU Student and Linda.  Bob works there too, but he must have been at lunch.  My appointments are always over their lunch shift. 

This is the table that I lay on to have radiation.  My arms go in the red stirrups and the triangular pillow goes under my knees.

Once I’m on the table, the techs get me situated perfectly so I don’t get accidentally radiated in other body parts.  When I’m right where they want me, I cannot move an inch.  They leave me alone in the room and go to their hub.  Their hub has four computer screens and a closed circuit television to watch me on.  Once they’re ready, the machine moves around me and I get radiated in five different areas.

Then they send me on my merry way.  Although today they gave me a certificate and a coffee mug. 

Today was my last day of all cancer treatments!  No more chemo.  No more radiation.  Nothing.  I feel like I should run through one of those finish line tapes that you see at the end of a race.  If I see one today I’m going to run through it pumping my fists in the air.  It feels awesome to be done.  Absolutely wonderful.  I can’t put into words how thankful I am to be done with treatment and most of all to be cancer free!

From this point forward I have routine check ups with my oncologist every three months where they check my blood and make sure my numbers are good.  I’ll keep my blog updated when I get any news, but from now on, I won’t be writing much.  

So many of you held my hand through my treatments and I will be forever thankful for you.  I couldn’t have done it without the healing hand and grace of our great savior and God or without his wonderful people.  Thank you for walking with us on our journey.  God Bless.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” 

-Jeremiah 11

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26. January 2010 by Lindy.

I can hardly believe I’m almost done with all cancer treatments!  Thank God!  I will have my last radiation treatment on Friday.  I am so happy, so relieved and so excited.  I should celebrate.  Hmmmm…what to do.

I saw Dr. Edlund today (radiation oncologist) and he said my skin reaction is appropriate and that I shouldn’t have any problems from here.  Since Tuesdays are the day I see the doctor, they gave me discharge instructions.  I couldn’t believe I was being discharged.  Another surreal feeling.  The good news is that the fatigue should last for only two weeks after my last radiation treatment.  I can’t wait to have full energy back.  Maybe I’ll run a marathon or something…

Dusty and I went to Chicago to meet with Dr. Song (reconstructive plastic surgeon) yesterday.  I was presented with three options here in Holland - implants, lat flap and TRAM flap.  Plastic surgeons don’t like the idea of doing just implants when skin has been radiated because the results won’t look good.  The other two options take my muscles and I wasn’t happy about that.  Dr. Song performs the DIEP flap which we thought was newer, but upon talking with his nurse they’ve been doing it for 16 years!  I felt like a hill billy asking about that new fangled operation where they use electronical gadgets to reconnect my blood vessels.  I’m glad we made the small trip because Dr. Song gave me more options than I thought possible.  All of which don’t include taking muscles.  His final recommendation is probably what I’ll go with, but there is one other option that I want to look into as well.  The surgery can’t happen for six more months.  I have time to think about it.

So that’s it in a nutshell.  I could write a small novel about my reconstructive options, but I’ll spare you. 

Have a great day! 

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20. January 2010 by Lindy.

Thank you for the birthday well wishes, cards and emails.  I had a great birthday.  Brooklyn was more excited for my birthday than I was.  She called me “birthday girl” all day and before she left for school in the morning she said I could wear one of her crowns that night.  She had a hard time understanding why I wasn’t having a party.  It’s hard to explain to a 6-year-old that when you grow up you don’t always have your friends over and play games for your birthday.  We had cake though and that’s party enough for me. 

I have six more radiation treatments to go!  Yahoo!  My skin is now purplish/reddish and peeling.  It looks disgusting and hurts worse than last week, but I can endure it.  I only have 1 1/2 weeks left!

Dusty and I are going to Chicago next week to meet with Dr. Song.  He’s at the University of Chicago and he does the latest reconstruction procedure called DIEP.  I’m researching that this week and arming myself with an arsenal of questions for him. 

The kids are great.  Max and Samantha are walking everywhere.  They’re so cute when they walk around the room together.  They’re a little unsteady on their feet so when they walk together they look like a little old couple.  It’s the best. 

Let me tell you something you’ve all heard before:  Don’t take anything for granted.  Even the smallest things.  For instance, hugs from your loved ones or holding your little ones.  Through chemo (bone pain) and now radiation (skin pain) I’ve learned that even a simple hug is wonderful and shouldn’t be taken for granted.  Other things not to take for granted:

Eating, hair on your head, eyelashes, driving, reading, thought processing, memory, clapping, going for walks, running, riding a bike, playing with your kids, health, cooking and the list could go on and on… 

I don’t take any of it for granted.   

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  James 1:2-3

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14. January 2010 by Lindy.

Today is my 33rd birthday.  Yea!  I usually don’t care about my birthdays too much, but this birthday is a little sweeter than most.  I’m so happy that I’m doing as well as I am.  Thank you for your prayers.  God has heard them all and has blessed me with renewed health and strength.  Thank you! 

One of the good things that came from my cancer is that I’ve been in contact with so many people who I haven’t seen or spoken with in years!  It has been so fun to catch up with everyone. 

I’ve been rocking my new short hair do and have had many compliments (thank you).  I washed my wigs and put them in storage and  I gave my head scarves to another girl (Hi Amy) going through cancer.  It felt so good to get rid of those things. 

I think I’m down to ten more radiation treatments.  The end is definitely in sight.  I can’t wait to be finished with everything and give my skin time to heal. 

Have a great day everyone! 

God Bless

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