Thank you for all the wonderful visits the past few days. All of the tests and meetings have caught up with me and made me very tired. Looking forward to an afternoon nap today, so we will not being seeing visitors for a few hours. God Bless.
Archive for the ‘What’s New’ Category
1
Aug
1
Aug
Muffin Cups
A lot has happened since I first met Heather, but I promised to tell you the story of how I met her and here it goes.
I was getting groceries at Meijer. I went through the baby section to buy diapers and essentials. Typically when I leave that section I go into the main aisle and continue to the pop, butter and yogurt section and weave my way to the front of the store. This time, however, I didn’t go to the main aisle. Instead I turned my cart around and found myself in the housewares department by all the kitchen gadgets (spatulas, measuring cups, etc). When I realized where I was I bolted down the nearest aisle to move along with my groceries (time is of the essence). The aisle I was cutting through was the cake decorating aisle and muffin cups caught my eye. Plain white muffin cups. I wasn’t planning on making cupcakes or muffins or had ever wondered where plain white muffin cups might be, but there I was staring at them nonetheless.
I shook my head and moved on to getting groceries. A few aisles into it I was looking for the semi sweet chocolate chips and I saw a woman bent down looking at something on the bottom shelf. I heard a younger voice behind me say “no those aren’t the ones I was thinking of. I know I got muffin cups somewhere here before, but I don’t remember where”. So I turned to tell her how I just saw plain white muffin cups in the cake decorating aisle, which at this point, was right across from where we were standing. As I turned to face her I noticed she was wearing a scarf on her head. I don’t remember my exact words, because they just started falling out of my mouth, but I said something to the effect of “how are you doing”. She looked at me like I was on another planet. I said “I see you’re wearing a scarf. I assume you have cancer? Is it breast cancer?” She confirmed it was and continued to stare at me like I was crazy. She let her guard down as soon as I told her I had breast cancer and beat it last November. We started talking, her mom started tearing up. It turns out that we both have/had the same rare type of breast cancer – triple negative. She had some questions and I answered them to the best of my ability. I remember getting groceries during chemo and how it was a battle to do it so I told her I would let her get going, but that I wanted to encourage her and to let her know that she can do this and she looked good (despite how she felt).
I walked away and as I continued getting my groceries I knew that moment could only have come from God. There is no way I would have just started talking to someone I’ve never met with a scarf on her head. Someone told me to reach out to her that day and I did. I’m glad I did too, because by the power of Facebook it turns out she knows someone I know and now she and I are in a small little support group we started (I missed our first meeting because of my pesky brain tumors). I can’t wait to get to know her and the other girls in our little group a little better.
There are no coincidences in life. Especially with muffin cups.
20
Jul
Impatiently waiting
Do you ever have anything that consumes your thoughts? Something you can’t shake from your mind? I wish I had something profound, deep, spiritual or thought provoking that consumes my thoughts, but I’m sorry to say it’s my upcoming surgery. It’s always on my mind. I’m anxious. Nervous. Excited. I can say one thing – I’ll be happy when my boobs are attached to my body again. Do you know how many times I’ve left the house and realized I forgot my boobs? That is something I never thought I would have to think about.
I try to think of every possible scenario and find a solution to it. What if Dr. Song finds he can’t do the DIEP procedure because of my crash c-section? How long will the surgery take? What’s recovery going to be like? Since I can’t lift for six weeks, what about my kids? Will I be able to walk Brooklyn to her first day of school? Will I be able to do laundry? Will I be able to get groceries? If I can’t stand straight up, how will I sleep? How will I take a shower?
Here are my solutions: Dr. Song won’t know until he opens me up whether I have damage from the crash c-section. There is a 90% chance that he will be able to do the procedure despite my medical history. The surgery takes roughly eight hours. I’ll spend about three days in the ICU. Recovery is about six weeks. I won’t be able to stand up straight or lay flat for two weeks. I can’t lift for six. I have childcare lined up for Max and Samantha – thank you mom, Jill and Kathy! I am making freezer meals so my family can eat. Since I missed Brooklyn’s first day of kindergarten last year, I will be there on her first day of school this year even if I have to crawl. The laundry and groceries will get done and I’ll sleep in a recliner. I still can’t stop my need for controlling things!
Information on the DIEP procedure
I am going to Chicago on Monday to meet with Dr. Song for my pre-op appointment and to meet with Anesthesia Department. I’m making the most of it by taking Brooklyn, Jill and Avery along. We’re going to the Shedd Aquarium when I’m done. Fun!
I would like to think that cancer doesn’t exist now that I’ve beat it. It’s still out there and still attacking young women/moms! I’ve met a new friend at the end of my cancer last year who was just diagnosed at the time (hi Amy!). I’ve been in contact with Lynette Bell who I know many of you are friends with or have heard of. I met another young mom in Meijer a few weeks ago (hi Heather) who is going through the same treatment as I went through last summer. How I met Heather is amazing and only something God could do. Since this post is quite long I will blog about that meeting another time. So now I follow their blogs and pray for them the same way people prayed for me.
Pucker up!
7
Jun
The Good. The Bad. The Ugly.
The Good
Things have been going well with my health lately. My energy is back to normal and I feel like a regular mom with three little kids. My range of motion on my right side has improved and with continued physical therapy I hope it gets back to the way it was. I am anxiously anticipating surgery on August 24 at the University of Chicago. Foobs here I come!
Another good thing is that Samantha was seen by Early On last week Thursday and they are done following her! Diane from Early On has been following her since she was born to make sure she meets/exceeds her milestones and to watch for signs from her birth trauma – developmental delays, cerebral palsy, etc. She has been on point this entire time and continues to be our little miracle.
Brooklyn just completed Kindergarten and is looking forward to summer despite missing all her kindergarten friends.
The Bad
Dusty’s mom has been at Hospice House for over a week now. She is dying. It’s an awful process to watch someone go through. She is so weak and weighs only 70 pounds. Please pray for her, Dale (Dusty’s dad) and the family. Pray that she’ll have peace and be comfortable.
The Ugly
Ugly…I don’t know what’s ugly, but I felt like it goes with the good and the bad so I had to include it. If I had to pick something ugly I would say my hair. It confuses me. It challenges me. It makes me laugh. I don’t know what to do with it. It’s super curly and thick. It’s high maintenance. I haven’t had a hair cut in over a year and I can start to see the beginning signs of a mullet forming so I think a little trim in the back might help (I’m coming Jenny!).
It was a year ago on June 3 that I had my first chemo treatment. I don’t ever want to experience a summer like the summer of 2009 again. I’ll never be the same because of it – physically, emotionally and mentally. As I like to say – it is what it is. I’m glad it’s over and I’m looking forward to this summer.
I’ll see you around…
31
May
Getting Away, May 2010
We took a short vacation up to the Michigan Upper Peninsula two weeks ago. It was the first time we were actually able to get away in two years. Brooklyn went with us, so it was nice to have some one-on-one time with her. She’s gone through a lot the last few years. She’s becoming such a little lady.
We are anticipating the first reconstructive surgery at the University of Chicago Hospital, scheduled for the end of August. This Memorial Day weekend marks the one year anniversary of the cancer diagnosis-it’s hard to believe it’s only been a year. In many ways it feels like it’s been five.
Tahquamenon Falls State Park
Making a Wish in St. Ignace (Straits State Park)
Mackinac Island
Hanging out at the Cabin
Taking a walk with Dad
15
Apr
SPRING!
Spring is here. In more ways than one. Those of you who’ve experienced a “winter” in your lives know what I mean when I say SPRING IS HERE!
I’ll get the health stuff out of the way first:
I had my blood rechecked on Monday and everything looks good! Praise God. My hemoglobin was 12-point-something and my electrolytes are normal. That is a huge relief yet a little frustrating because I’m still pretty tired. My energy level is not where I want it to be. I liked it when I could blame my lack of energy on my anemia. Hopefully I’ll be back to normal soon because I envision a lot of walks, bike rides and fun activities with the kids this summer.
I’m returning to physical therapy tomorrow because I’m losing a little mobility on my right side. It’s painful to lift my right arm all the way up. As a matter of fact, I can get it to a certain point and it won’t go any higher. Very strange feeling, but I think with the proper therapy I’ll be back to normal again.
Even though I promised myself I wouldn’t think about reconstruction and enjoy the summer, my mind has been drifting towards August when I have the reconstructive surgery scheduled (August 10) at the University of Chicago with Dr. Song. I’m second guessing my decision (the procedure, the surgeon, the facility, etc). I guess that’s normal, because it’s a big deal, but I just want what is best for me and my family.
Max and Samantha are now 18 months old and they keep me running. They are everywhere and into everything. It’s been fun to watch their personalities develop. Max is a chill little dude and Samantha is very strong willed and knows what she wants when she wants it. They crack us up with the faces they pull, little smiles and ways of talking.
Brooklyn is nearing the end of her kindergarten year. She recently learned how to ride a two-wheeler and we bought her a new bike. She’s so excited for “sprinkler weather”.
Dusty is doing great. He has a new assignment at work that is keeping him on his toes, but he seems to be enjoying it.
For your viewing pleasure:
Dusty, Samantha and Brooklyn going to Frederick Meijer Gardens
Max enjoying the first nice day of the year:
Samantha loves climbing and is always on the move
Brooklyn and her friend Avery playing in the creek behind our house
Samantha and Max inspecting the lion
Brooke and Avery at the GR Museum
25
Feb
Red, White and …
It feels strange to write something on my cancer blog. I promised I would update when I had something to say.
I had a blood draw last week and saw Dr. VanderWoude (oncologist) on Tuesday of this week. Overall, things look good (praise God). My hemoglobin is still low at a 10, but it’s better than where I was a month ago which was 9. Normal is 12-16. My white blood cell count is low, but not low enough to concern the doctor. This means that I’m tired (hemoglobin) and that I’m more susceptible to illness (white blood cells) so I need to take extra precautions with washing my hands and staying away from people with illnesses.
My every day life is going good, all things considered. My mom helps me tremendously with Max, Samantha and Brooklyn because I get tired so quickly. Other than that, things are good.
This past summer when I was going through chemo I would sit in my anti-gravity chair on the front porch. It was the most comfortable and the fresh air helped. I was dead tired, sick and fighting like a champion to beat the cancer. I would see people walk, run, rollerblade or bike past the house and I couldn’t wait to do that again. I dreamt of the day when I could take my kids for a long walk to the park. Then while going through radiation I read an article in the Holland Sentinel about climbing the steps of Mt. Pisgah in Holland. That was my new goal. As soon as I had enough energy I was going to climb the 239 (I think) steps to the top. A few weeks ago Brooklyn and I did it. It was so fun. I climbed a mountain. I don’t know if it’s technically a mountain, but it’s called Mt. Pisgah so I’m going with it.
Here is me and Brooklyn at the top:
Prepare to have your mind blown. As you know Dusty is the computer/techy guy in our family. He set up this blog for me and occasionally checks the stats of the blog. This past summer when I was going through chemo and blogging about my pathetic journey, I had a total of 16,000 unique hits. That’s a one, six and three zeros people! I don’t know 16,000 people. I’m not sharing this with you to massage my ego. The thought that quickly occured to me was all the comments that I received from you were probably read as well. Your comments were encouraging and many of them talked about God, quoted scripture or verses of songs. Just imagine the amount of people you may have reached by your comments. Amazing.
That’s all for now. It’s been great seeing so many of you again. Thank you for your prayers. Please pray that I will continue to get my energy back and that my blood levels return to normal.
18
Feb
Friends of the Heart”
We are continuing to adjust to the new normal around the house. Since Lindys treatments are complete until summer, were able to focus more time on family and giving back in any way we can. Were enjoying each other and every day we can spend as a normal family.
I was approached a few months back to join the Board of Directors for Compassionate Heart Ministry in Zeeland. For those that dont know about Compassionate Heart, its a special place where teens and young adults with disabilities can go to socialize, hang out and just enjoy each other in a loving, Christian environment. Located in City on A Hill, Compassionate Heart serves a part of society that many treat as outcasts. Cool things happen there.
Watch the video to learn more.
Heres where I appeal for your help. Lindy and I have seen your awesome generosity and spiritwed love to have you rally behind this cause. On April 20, 2010, Compassionate Heart will hold its only fundraising event Friends of the Heart at Faith Reformed Church in Zeeland. Come, well eat a great dinner together, meet some of the kids/parents, and listen to Chris Kleinsomeone with a personal story that wont leave a dry eye in the house. Your tax deductible donation for the dinner will go 100% towards Compassionate Heart.
If you cant make the dinner but want to help in another way, use the form as well. Well get in touch with you. Thank you so much for making a difference to our youth at Compassionate Heart.
29
Jan
All Done!
For the past seven weeks my life has been the same thing from 11:45 until 12:30.
I would pack up the kids, bring them to my parent’s house and go to radiation.
This is LAROC (Lakeshore Area Radiation Oncology Center). It’s the building where I get radiation done. There are no bad smells in the building. It’s not “clinical”. It’s very zen. There are water features and soothing music throughout the building. Oh and carpet. Not hard vinyl tile floor like a hospital.
Everyday I would walk in the sliding doors, proceed through the regular waiting room and go to the special waiting room. I named it special because it’s where people like me wait to get radiated (or what Dusty likes to call radiant). Then one of the radiation techs calls me back to a room that is built like a vault. It has a thick steel door and the walls are 4-6′ thick.
Here are the wonderful radiation techs who I see every day. Marie, Karen, A GVSU Student and Linda. Bob works there too, but he must have been at lunch. My appointments are always over their lunch shift.
This is the table that I lay on to have radiation. My arms go in the red stirrups and the triangular pillow goes under my knees.
Once I’m on the table, the techs get me situated perfectly so I don’t get accidentally radiated in other body parts. When I’m right where they want me, I cannot move an inch. They leave me alone in the room and go to their hub. Their hub has four computer screens and a closed circuit television to watch me on. Once they’re ready, the machine moves around me and I get radiated in five different areas.
Then they send me on my merry way. Although today they gave me a certificate and a coffee mug.
Today was my last day of all cancer treatments! No more chemo. No more radiation. Nothing. I feel like I should run through one of those finish line tapes that you see at the end of a race. If I see one today I’m going to run through it pumping my fists in the air. It feels awesome to be done. Absolutely wonderful. I can’t put into words how thankful I am to be done with treatment and most of all to be cancer free!
From this point forward I have routine check ups with my oncologist every three months where they check my blood and make sure my numbers are good. I’ll keep my blog updated when I get any news, but from now on, I won’t be writing much.
So many of you held my hand through my treatments and I will be forever thankful for you. I couldn’t have done it without the healing hand and grace of our great savior and God or without his wonderful people. Thank you for walking with us on our journey. God Bless.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
-Jeremiah 11
26
Jan
Almost Done!
I can hardly believe I’m almost done with all cancer treatments! Thank God! I will have my last radiation treatment on Friday. I am so happy, so relieved and so excited. I should celebrate. Hmmmm…what to do.
I saw Dr. Edlund today (radiation oncologist) and he said my skin reaction is appropriate and that I shouldn’t have any problems from here. Since Tuesdays are the day I see the doctor, they gave me discharge instructions. I couldn’t believe I was being discharged. Another surreal feeling. The good news is that the fatigue should last for only two weeks after my last radiation treatment. I can’t wait to have full energy back. Maybe I’ll run a marathon or something…
Dusty and I went to Chicago to meet with Dr. Song (reconstructive plastic surgeon) yesterday. I was presented with three options here in Holland – implants, lat flap and TRAM flap. Plastic surgeons don’t like the idea of doing just implants when skin has been radiated because the results won’t look good. The other two options take my muscles and I wasn’t happy about that. Dr. Song performs the DIEP flap which we thought was newer, but upon talking with his nurse they’ve been doing it for 16 years! I felt like a hill billy asking about that new fangled operation where they use electronical gadgets to reconnect my blood vessels. I’m glad we made the small trip because Dr. Song gave me more options than I thought possible. All of which don’t include taking muscles. His final recommendation is probably what I’ll go with, but there is one other option that I want to look into as well. The surgery can’t happen for six more months. I have time to think about it.
So that’s it in a nutshell. I could write a small novel about my reconstructive options, but I’ll spare you.
Have a great day!
Ver Beek Blog
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