As of 3:45 today Spring Break has officially begun!  Yahooooooooo.  We’re not going away this year because we have too much going on, but it’ll be fun nonetheless.

I’m putting a post out because I’ve been having a rough time getting off the steroid.  If you have a moment to pray today, could you put one up there for me?  I will take my last dose of the steroid on Friday.  Tapering off has been brutal and I’ve had every side effect possible.  You name, I’ve had it.   Nausea, vomitting, migraines (they put my on a new migraine med and it’s helped tremendously – PTL), fatigue, muscle aches/pains, the blahs, etc.  The NP at Dr. Schott’s office said they will go away in about a month and I just need to press on.  So press on I shall.  In the meantime, it’s gonna suck, but I’ll be fine.  I’ll be fine….I say that a lot lately. 

Oh great God be small enough to hear me now. 

I wish you all a wonderful Spring Break with your families no matter where you spend it.  Be safe, Be kind, Be a blessing. 

Oh how things have changed in the past two years.  Brooklyn was five when I was first diagnosed.  I remember telling her that I have cancer and her response was something like “Oh no.  Can I watch a movie now?”

Saturday night Dusty and I were in the living room watching TV.  The kids had been in a bed for well over an hour, Brooklyn must have had trouble getting to sleep.  She walked in the living room with tears rolling down her cheeks and in a very small voice she asks “Mom…what if the cancer wins?” (more tears and a few sobs).  Wow.  She’s seven now and has come along way since five.  She asked me a similar question when she was five and I said that I will get to go to heaven if the cancer wins.  Her response at that time was that I’ll finally know what Jesus and God look like. 

I sat there for a while not knowing which answer to go with.  We’ve always tried to be as honest as possible with her.  Should I be honest again and say I’ll die?  This is clearly not the time to talk about mom dying.  This poor child is scared out of her mind.  She goes on to say “I need a mom”.  That sound you may have heard rumble throughout the town was my heart breaking.  The only thing I could say was that I want to be her mom and I’m going to fight the cancer with everything I have.  I told her the doctors say the disease is stable and I’m doing as good as I can be with my diagnosis.  We need to keep praying and trust that God will heal me.  She understands that my cancer is from satan and not God.  That God loves us.  Such a difficult subject to talk about with a seven year old. 

It’s amazing who cancer affects and in how many different ways.  Poor kid.  No seven year old should have to deal with the thoughts that she has.  She also sobbed that “daddy will never get married again!” I told her that if I’m not here anymore, daddy could get married again and that I’m okay with it (as long as she’s perfect). 

As far as my health, I’ve been tapering off the Prednisone and it’s not going very well.  I am going to press on and get off the steroids because I need to.  However, I’ve had migraines nearly every day (I think that’s what scares Brooklyn) and my fatigue is getting slightly worse. No fun. 

Our house is moving along well.  Everyone has been working hard on it. 

Please Pray: 

• Please pray for Brooklyn as she stumbles through the web of cancer. 
• Pray that we, as her parents, will know what to say. 
• Pray that my adrenal gland kicks into full gear.
• Pray for my Cancer Club friends in their different stages of the disease.
• Praise for my family and friends who help our family in many ways.