Ver Beek Blog

Our young family battling stage IV breast cancer one day at a time
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I don’t want to go!

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I am leaving in ten minutes for my last round of “nasty” chemo.  After today just four more rounds to go.  Then surgery.  Then radiation.  My hope is that the last four rounds are more tolerable than the first four. 

People ask me how long it takes before I feel better and what chemo is like.  I’ll go in today for about three hours while they give me A/C (Adriamycin and Cytoxin), anti-nausea and now potassium (my levels are low on that).  Tonight it will feel like the beginning of the flu.  I won’t feel good.  I feel like it’s getting worse.  Tomorrow is bad.  Friday is awful.  Saturday is horrible.  Sunday is unbearable and also when I reach my peak.  Monday is horrible.  Tuesday is awful.  Wednesday is bad/okay.  It’s kind of like climbing a mountain.  Then I usually have a week of okay days.  The nausea is usually tolerable.  It’s just pain and aches everywhere – even in my bones.  That’s what going through A/C is like for me. 

I hope to find out today that my tumor has shrunk even more, when I can start the last four rounds and when surgery will happen.  I’ll let you know what I find out. 

Thank you for your communication and prayers.  God has been doing great and awesome things for our family.  He provides in every way. 

18 Responses to “I don’t want to go!”

  1. praying…… you are amazing Lindy.

  2. Holly says:

    Praying for you….you are strong and you will be even stronger on the other side of this. God is for you…no can be against you…..
    Glad with you that this is the last round of ‘bad’. Hoping for much better in the next rounds….

  3. Julie Mo says:

    For the next week just keep in mind this is the last of this round. I hope compared to this the next round is a breeze. Someone told you “you should feel better in a month” and that month is getting close. I will think and pray for you often in the coming days. Hang in there, the chemo is shrinking the tumor.

  4. Dad Ver Beek says:

    Hi Lindy…. We support you and Dusty. Praying that you will remain strong. Tell Brooklyn that Grandpa and Grandma liked the pictures she took. You are an inspiration to us all !! Love Ya….Mom and Dad

  5. Stacy Wiersma says:

    I hope that you find that the next four will be much easier on you-nobody should have to do this!
    I am praying for good news about the tumor.
    Keep it up, you are doing great!!

  6. Jill Graves says:

    I am so proud of you Lindy. You took it like a champ today. I am so thankful to have you in my life. Stay strong girl. I love ya

  7. Jen TenHarmsel says:

    It looks like the worst rounds are now behind you!!! Thats huge, you are amazing!!! I hope the feeling sick goes easy on you in the upcoming week. You will be in my prayers-


  8. Deb Nienhuis says:

    Dear Lindy
    It is so hard to find words to say – please know that we are praying for you!!!! God loves you and will see you through this – keep hanging on he won’t let go!
    Love to you and your family

    The Nienhuis Family

  9. Dani says:

    Hang in there Lindy. You are doing a great job. My God give you peace today. I am so proud of you. YOu are in my prayers today and always.

  10. Tina Amaya says:

    Lindy Lou – Thank God that the last round is over… now just the recovery time. Ed and I saw this performance on Oprah and it brought tears to my eyes. Watch when you get a chance….. my note to God would ask that He bring swift healing to you my friend! Love you lots!


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