It was a rough weekend. Friday the muscle and joint pain began. Saturday I felt like I was hit by a bus. The pain was nearly unbearable. It seemed to localize in my knees and legs. Sunday was slightly better and Monday was back to a dull ache.
Just when I thought I was getting better, I woke up today feeling like a bus hit me again. It’s very discouraging. Everything hurts – muscles, joints, bones. My knees and elbows feel like I’m being stabbed with a knife. I’m extremely tired.
Some days, when I allow myself to think too much, I get very overwhelmed. The road ahead is still so long. I wish all I had to do was complete chemo and be back to normal by the end of the summer. Instead I have to complete chemo, have a major surgery, go through 6-8 weeks of radiation and then another major reconstructive surgery. This won’t be over until winter. It seems so far away.
When I think about what we’ve been through over the past year and now the cancer, I just don’t understand why this happened to us. I didn’t plan for Brooklyn to spend her 5th year of life with a mom who is sick and can’t do the things we would like to do together. I didn’t plan on watching other excellent care givers help raise Max and Samantha during their first year of life. The toll this is taking on my family is staggering. What I know for sure is that God will see us through this. This definitely was not what we planned, but His plan is perfect. We have to trust in that.
I was able to tune into the webcast of Sunday morning’s church service. The message was awesome. So much of it spoke directly to me. Included in some great verses, my Jeremiah verse was shared again too. Awesome.
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13
Dearest Lindy….. Don’t give up. You are a BLESSING to us all. We need you to remain strong for just a little while longer.
As for Brooklyn. She’s building her character through this. Becky, Jana, Ross and Dusty were without their Mom for many many weeks at a time during their growing up years. Seems like she always got sick around Christmas time. I don’t think it affected them at all. I felt bad but I think they were made better persons because of it.
Madaline sent you and Brooklyn a card today. It says it all.She is wise dog. Wait till you see it !!! Love Ya Lindy
God WILL get you guys through this! We’re praying for you each day! Remember, each day is one step closer to this all being behind you! Stay strong. We love you! The Sluiters
Lindy….I’m listening to you… and praying. I’m praying that He gives you His peace and His strength.
It is hard to live in the bubble of treatments and medicine.
I’m praying that God will show His love to you, Dusty and your children in ways that are personal and encouraging.
God Bless….In His Grip..barb
Lindy,
We pray that you were able to rest tonight and that tomorrow will be a better day – may God bless!
Praying you feel God’s uplifting arms wrapped tightly around you today.
Dear Lindy,
A favorite verse of mine is Isaiah 40:29-31 and it is my prayer for you today:
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men (and women) stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
So eagles are an emblem of hope for me and whenever I see one it is like God is reminding me of His presence. Today in northern Michigan, I will be on an eagle watch for you; I have a hunch God will deliver. He’s like that, you know.
Blessings and prayers,
Marianne
When you pass through the water
You will not be overturned
When you feel the heat of fire
You’ll not be burned
When you fight the river’s current
You will not lose strength to stand
When you need some sense of direction
You’ll have my hand
and although it makes you stronger
You were not made for pain
and although your heart can trust
you cannot control the rain
Chorus:
But I will not let you down
You are mine
I will not let you go
You are mine
When you meet the face of darkness
I will be your guiding light to see
When you’re sure you have no purpose
I have crowned you royalty
and although it makes you stronger
you were not made for pain
and although your heart can trust
you cannot control the rain
Chorus:
but I will not let you down
You are mine, You are mine
I will not let you go
You are mine You are mine
For I am the Lord
The Lord your God
Creator of all, your Savior
You are redeemed my precious one
You are mine
Love you Lindy!! If you want to hear the song you can go to
http://www.myspace.com/carahoekstra
xoxo
Lindy-
Hang in there. God will help you through this. He had a wonderful plan for you guys. Always in our prayers!
Your Jeremiah verse was just on criminal minds. Thought of you immediately. Sorry you had a painful and discouraging week. Hope today was better and tomorrow more so.
Feel better today, Lindy!!!!!
Hi Lindy, GOD answers prayers and look at ALL who are praying for you, he will not let you down! Stay strong and think of your Jeremiah verse to help get you thru! WE love you and will continue to pray for you and your family!!!!!!
Love You, Lindy!
Liz TenCate
Hey, Lindy, I just spied “your’ eagle soaring high on the air currents outside my house!
I knew God would come through; He just took an extra day, or maybe I had my eyes downcast instead of lifted up yesterday. That analogy sorta works, doesn’t it??
But, hey, girl, this eagle’s for you!
Marianne
Lord….this is crappy…why do our friends need to go through this? They have already been through so much. Lord, you are sovereign and we know you know better but in weeks like this its hard to see. Lord you created Lindy’s body…you know her by name….you made her bones, her muscles…you knit her perfectly together many years ago. We are asking now that you shower her body with peace….you are bigger than symptoms, chemo, and all this yucky stuff. YOU are BIGGER. Please answer in a big way today, on this Sunday and let her have some RELIEF. Give her moments with her family that feel normal today. Bring peace to their home. Give understanding of immense porportion to Dusty and the kids. Let this bring them all together as a family, not apart. Lord Bless them today. Help them to just look at TODAY, not the months ahead. Give them strength for TODAY. We know you hear, we know you answer, you are creator of every single thing we see. So we know you can answer right now in Jesus name. Thank you Lord….be with my friends today…be near in a special way….in Jesus Name. Amen.
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