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Not good…

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We are settled into our room at Spectrum (Butterworth) Hospital.  I had a CT scan of my abdomin and pelvis last night around 10 p.m.  I don’t have the results of that.  They did a brain MRI at 12:30 a.m. and we got the results of those today.  It turns out I have six tumors.  Three are quite large and are the ones causing the headpain and nausea.  Two are “normal” size and one is very small.  The PA from the neurosurgeon’s office said since I had so many of them that surgery isn’t an option in their opinion.  She said they would just grow somewhere else in the brain or grow in the same spot. 

The PA from Dr. VanderWoude’s office came about an hour ago and said it’s Stage IV cancer and the prognosis isn’t good. 

We still have to meet with the Radiation Oncology Team. 

My bone scan is scheduled at 3 p.m. 

I’m terrified.  I cannot bear the thought of leaving my kids without a mom.  I know I shouldn’t go there yet because we don’t know the exact prognosis, but that’s where my mind goes.  They’re too little.  I have to raise them.  I’m their mom.  I want to be there for them.  This is a horrible thing to have to process.

Please pray for:

Results of my bone scan to be cancer free.

Peace and God’s prescence, love and comfort in our lives.  I want to hear his voice.

Our kids.  Brooklyn is only six, Max and Samantha are 1 1/2 years old.  Even if the prognosis were good, this still isn’t fair to them to have their mom away from them. 

Our parents.  They are our rock for our family.  Please pray for strength, peace, endurance and energy to keep up with our kids (my parents are taking care of them right now).

My friends.  I have great friends and Jill has been with me every step of the way.  She’s even here right now. 

Pray that we will not grow weary.  I HAVE to beat this.  It’s not a choice.  God is the great physician and can work miracles. PRAY FOR A MIRACLE!

68 Responses to “Not good…”

  1. Anita Geurink says:

    I don’t know what to say Lindy, but I want you to know WE ARE PRAYING FOR A MIRACLE! God can do anything and I am praying HE will give all of us the FAITH to MOVE mountains (or in this case to destroy tumors) I love you Lindy.

  2. kathy kortman says:

    OOHHH Lindy and Dustin, my Heart goes out to you right now and on my knees praying for that miracle, because God can work them..and we know this by our faith and trust in Him. Another valley to walk through and fear so BIG, but God has you covered and is holding you right now. read Psalm 139~ God’s perfect knowledge of Man. Praying for peace that passes all understanding, strength to get through the fear, and miracles and blessings abundant. I love you.

  3. Missy VerBeek says:

    I am speechless Lindy, I feel so angry when I read this! Why? Why you? You are such a strong woman/wife/mom. God has plans for you and your faith is going to get you through this. We will be praying everyday all day for these results to come back normal. We love you all!

  4. Kadie Verstrate says:

    You don’t know me but I knew your husband in jr.high and high school. (i was kadie hurley then) I found your blog address in a prayer request from a friend on facebook. I started reading it last night and just checked now. As a mom of 4 (my twins are almost 1) my heart goes out to you and as a christian I will join you in asking God for a miracle! I will PRAY, PRAY, PRAY for you and your family.
    My favorite verse (always, but even more in hardship) is Isaiah 26:3 He will give them perfect peace, those who trust in Him, who keep their eyes fixed on Him.
    Praying He gives you what you need today,

  5. Amy Veneberg says:

    My family and I are praying for blessings for you and your families. MIRACLES can and do happen! Keep the faith and with the strength, support and prayers of many; God will provide you with your miracle.

    Amy Veneberg

  6. Kathy Timmer says:

    Dear Dusty and Lindy, We’re on our knees begging God, the God of miracles, to give you complete healing. We pray for peace for you, your families and close friends.
    Tom and Kathy

  7. Ryan Elenbaas says:

    Our GOD is much more powerful than the doctors and he can perform MIRACLES…. HE has a plan for you and everything that is happening. You and your family will be in our familes prayers and we will be praying for a miracle!! GOD will bless you through this process!

  8. Lindsay Bazan says:

    Lindy, you are one of the strongest persons I know. If anybody can beat this, YOU CAN! I don’t know why God keeps putting you through the fire like this, and trust me I will ask him someday, but, He is faithful and you are right, he is the great physican and will heal you. You, your family and the doctors and nurses are in my prayers constantly.
    Lindsay Bazan

  9. Amy Sluiter says:

    God is so much bigger than this, Lindy! We’ll be storming the gates of heaven and asking and believing for a miracle! You are such an amazing and strong woman…and God is even more amazing and strong. I pray you can feel His presence with you through this storm! We’re putting all our hope in Him and His power and promise to heal you. “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” Hebrews 6:19. I’m so very sorry you are going through this. I have no idea why this has to happen. It doesn’t make sense. But we keep our eyes on Jesus and rest in His Sovereignty. I pray you KNOW His love and Presence today. I pray you know that you are not alone. We love you so much!!

  10. Megan Terpstra says:

    Dusty and Lindy, I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through at this moment, but I wanted you to know that I’m praying for you and your family.

  11. Dani says:

    oooohhh Lindy…..I can not even imagine what you guys are going through. What you are thinking about. I just want to scream for you! God is bigger than this! We will be praying for all of you. Hang in there love you guys!

  12. Cara Maat says:

    We are believing with you and praying for you. We are trusting God to make His presence tangible to you- and that you feel his love.

    We love you- Cara and Dave

  13. Jana Z says:

    As I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks, I know why this is extremely discouraging news. But, your family has already experienced 2 miracles (that I know of)and who is to say that there isn’t another one waiting to be experienced and written about. Don’t give up!

  14. Debbie says:

    You are in my prayers. ((HUGS))

  15. Livvy says:

    Praying hard. Sending out your story to everyone I know so you will be lifted up in prayer. It’s so hard to understand why one person has to endure so much. Our hearts go out to you and your families. Love you.

  16. Michelle says:

    Lindy–I’m bawling for you, those incoherent can’t form sentences, snot flowing out of my nose, kids running away from me, kind of tears. I barely know you, but I worry for you. And I’m BEGGING you, let us all worry for you. Let us cry your tears, clean your house, worry for your family, buy your groceries, love your babies, pray like we’ve NEVER prayed before. Let us do all that, so you CAN GET BETTER. Save your strength for the biggest fight you’ve ever fought. And win it. Win it so we can celebrate. And cry happy tears with you at the end.

    Stay strong, girl!!!!!

  17. james and beth kalkman says:

    Dusty and Lindy,

    James just asked me to go to your site and read the update. We are praying for you and asking our friends to pray for you too. God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. He loves you! We are praying that he work in your life and your body to provide the healing you ask for and the strength you need as a mom and wife. Thinking of you every, every , every day.
    Beth and James

  18. terp says:

    Lindy, you are a fighter and you will beat this. God designed/created you to be a person that doesn’t accept no for an answer. I pray that you FEEL His arms wrap around you. I pray you FEEL is healing flowing through your veins. Your faith is amazing. You can beat this. Everyone is praying for your miracle. Like I said today, one day we will get tattoos together!!! Love you.

  19. Craig and Donna says:

    Dear Dusty and Lindy, I don’t know what to say. I am sick to my stomach for you and Dusty. I don’t know why this is happening but we will be on our knees praying and pleading with God for complete, miracluous healing. As everyone has been saying God is bigger than anyone or anything and more powerful than any drug. You are stong and a fighter, keep it up and we will stay strong right along with you and Dusty. Love to you all. “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than you can ever imagine or ask according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Jesus Christ for ever and ever.” Eph. 3:20

  20. Lindy,
    I have no words, other than to repeat yours. God is the Great Physician, and He can heal you. I believe in the depths of my soul that He wants you to raise your children and grow old with your husband. I will choose today to pray with great expectation, and pray with confidence. You will be healed.
    Love you,

  21. Christa Meeuwsen says:

    I am so sorry to read this latest news, Lindy. I am praying and thinking of you a lot. I,along with everyone else, am at a loss of words. I am so very sorry. I will pray for a miracle right now!

  22. Joni Gibson says:

    Lindy, I am grieving with you and for you, but hopeful in the ability God has to heal and restore. Though I don’t know you well, I know that you are a beautiful child of God and a fabulous mother. I will be praying fervently for peace, strength and time, precious time, with your beautiful family.

  23. Amy says:

    HI Lindy: Thinking about you constantly and praying like crazy!

    “Our God is greater, our God is stronger.
    God You are higher than any other
    Our God is HEALER, awesome in power
    Our God, Our God . . .”
    -Chris Tomlin

  24. Jessica says:

    Lindy, I do not know you and I have no idea how I came across your blog but I do want you to know that you have many prayers going out for you tonight. Miracles do happen and our God is AWESOME! Praying that you feel peace, love, and strength. Stay strong!!

  25. Holly says:

    Dusty and Lindy…..we are praying. Love you.
    Jeremiah 32:27 – I am the Lord, the God of all flesh, is ANYTHING to hard for me?

  26. Jill says:

    Lindy, I do not know you, but I came across a prayer request for you on facebook and wanted you to know you are in my prayers!! Praying for healing for you, and peace and strength for you and your family!! Through God ALL things are possible!!

  27. Aunt Shirley/Uncle Gar says:

    Lindy-our hearts are hurting for you – we pray that you feel His Peace and Love with everything that you are going through right now. His Grace is Amazing! Love you so much!

  28. Julie says:

    Lindy-You don’t know me; I came across your blog through a prayer request on facebook. I want to let you know that you, your husband, children, parents & friends are in my prayers. Prayers for peace, comfort & healing.

  29. Cara Larsen says:

    I’m crying for you and praying for you. I can only repeat what everyone else has said. Our God is greater than cancer. Our God is greater than fear. Our God is greater than all of it.
    We will keep praying for all of you!
    Cara Larsen

  30. Charity says:

    I’ve been a friend of your cousin Gregg, and had a few classes with you at HCHS. My heart hurts for you with this news, and my prayers rise up to heaven on your behalf. I pray that our God will give you the comfort and encouragement through His people as you need it.

    Romans 8:26-28 “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

    Praying that the Spirit will interceed for you.

  31. Nicole Dangremond says:


    I just read through your blog. My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You will feel His presence and comfort….He is awesome! Always, Nicole Dangremond

  32. Mandy Cooper says:


    My heart aches for you and your family. I’m just sitting here crying for you and wishing I had something eloquent to say… but I don’t except to tell you that I think God is being bombarded with prayers for you and your family right now and that he has the power to heal. So, I will pray for you too… for physical healing and that you may have the strength to walk whatever path God lays in front of you.


  33. Jeri says:

    Lindy & Dusty,
    As many have said, I don’t know you… but came across your blog on Facebook… I don’t know what to say… I wish to encourage you… bless you… pray for you… I am so weak… but I know God is so strong… I am anxious for you, for your health, for your children, for what God has planned… surely this can not be his plan… I feel angry and frustrated by the lack of ability to “fix” you. I can not even begin to understand what you must be feeling tonight. I will pray. I will pray.

  34. barb & ted says:

    Lindy & Dusty,

    Praying that God shows Himself real…….and wraps you in His peace. In His Grip, barb and ted

  35. Megan Van Kampen says:

    my heart just skipped a beat reading this. I just happen to see it on facebook through someone else. This is horrible news, not fair for you to have to go through more than what you’ve already had to endure in the past year and a half! I am praying hard for you and Dustin and the kids. You are such a strong person and God knows your fears and hears all of our prayers. I am so sorry. I want to hug you 🙁 Please let me know if I can help in any way!! Seriously…call me!
    Love you guys,

  36. Sharon (Mulder) Fikkert says:

    Saw on Facebook that people were praying for you today. I went on your blog and read what was going on. All day since your family and you have been on my mind and in my prayers. We will pray for a miracle! I pray that God will surround you during this hard time and just comfort you. We will keep praying

  37. Jeff & Karen Heyboer says:

    Dusty & Lindy — I sit here in disbelief, trying to think of something profound to say, but there are no words that come to mind. I was looking back at some of your other posts & came across Dusty’s post from Oct. 15, 2009. Tears rolled down my face as I read how he felt your family was running a marathon & when just about to cross the finish line, you were made to run another without a rest. And now I can’t help but think, why another marathon God? Isn’t it time for them to rest? We will be praying for healing & strength for you & your family. Stay strong!
    Jeff & Karen

  38. Marian Grassmid says:

    Lindy, I was just going through your past posts and came to your January 29th post. In it you claim God’s promise…“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Hold on to this…when you wrote before you were celebrating, but now you need to hold tighter to this. I will hold tight too on your behalf as well as your families!

  39. Aunt Carole says:

    Dear Dusty & Lindy,
    The tears are flowing and my heart is breaking for you. But as I read all these wonderful postings, even of people that don’t know you yet love you and are praying for you, I have strong hope. So much faith, so much love, so much encouragement – just think of how God’s heart is touched by His children’s love and faith! He hears, and He answers. He is with you, holding and carrying you. He sees and knows what we cannot, and He has the ultimate plan. We walk with you by faith as He unfolds it to you. And through it all, we lift you constantly with all our love and prayers. Uncle Bob & Aunt Carole

  40. Rachel Breen Chapman says:

    My heart breaks for you, I have said a hundred prayers for you in the past 24 hours and will continue to pray and pray. In your blog you asked about alternative treatment options and my dad seeks treatment at MD Anderson in Houston, Texas. I am not sure if you remember, but my dad is a pastor and I know he would be more than willing to talk to you (or anyone in your family) about MD Anderson. Although I do not know all the types of cancers they treat, I do know they take on the most difficult of cases. We will continue to uplift you and your family in prayer.

  41. Marcia Hoeksema says:

    To the precious VerBeek Family,
    Our thoughts and prayers are with you all! Stay strong,keep your eyes on the Great Physician! He can and does miracles daily!

  42. karen asekomeh says:

    OMG Lindy, I am so sorry. I feel like a horrible PT. Like I let you down. I am praying for you. You are such a great person. Much stronger than I and I know you can beat this. I pray you don’t ever give up hope. I can’t imagine what you are going through right now. I want you to know that if you ever need anything I am here for you. i will never forget the strength you taught me. I was the lucky one to get to know you. I only wish I could have helped more. I will keep up with you via your blog and please do not ever hesitate to contact me if i could be of help.

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