On Monday, July 26, 2010 I was on the platform of a train station boarding my train to the end of breast cancer. I sat down on the nice commuter train, had a clean, comfortable seat and there was even some nice music playing overhead. There was good lighting and everyone was in good moods. I was on my way to meet with Dr. Song in Chicago for the last time before my procedure. I had my best friend and our kids with us to make the most of the day at Shedd Aquarium. I was excited about having reconstruction done by one of the best plastic surgeon’s in the field who was doing the best procedure for me. We had everything lined up. Our cousin’s sister graciously offered their Chicago basement apartment for Dusty to stay in while I was at the hospital. We had childcare lined up for the six weeks following the procedure. The train dropped us off the hospital. I had a good meeting with the doctor. I had a good meeting with the anesthesiology department and that was it. I was looking forward to having my new, old body rebuilt – tummy tuck was the bonus! One pesky thing kept creeping in during the day…headaches.
Onward…we hopped the train to Shedd Aquarium and had a fabulous day. The kids loved it. We took in all the sites and made some great memories. Drove home that night, tired, but happy we had such a fun, successful day.
On Tuesday, July 27 I went to physical therapy because I’ve been having problems with frozen shoulder since my mastectomy. My PT also knew about my ongoing headaches and nausea and we assumed it was because of all the adjusting we were doing to my shoulder and neck area. After PT I had such a bad headache that I called Dr. Hoberman (my surgeon) and she prescribed Norco (narcotic). I took the pain pills, got through the day, but couldn’t seem to get rid of the headaches.
On Wednesday, July 28 I began vomiting because the headaches were too severe.
On Thursday, July 29 I called Dr. Hoberman explaining the pills weren’t helping and the vomiting is bad. She immediately conferred with Dr. VanderWoude who sent me to Holland’s Emergency Room. Jill drove me there and it was there that I had tests run, including a CT scan. I didn’t hear it then, but the second train was pulling into the station.
ALERT! God Moment: Dusty happened to meet an old friend for lunch that day and as he was driving by the hospital on his way back to work he popped in so we could joke together about how silly my little ER visit is. Stupid headaches.
Jill met him in the hall and remembered telling him that we waiting for the results of the CT scan. CT scan? She needed a CT scan? Dusty came into my room and a moment later Dr. Nicely came in to tell us of the two tumors the CT picked up. All color washed away from Dusty’s face. He looked like he was punched in the gut. This wasn’t expected. I think my eyes were closed with my jaw on the ground and Jill was bent forward with her head in her hands. This isn’t happening! At the worst it was going to be meningitis. That’s what Dr. Hoberman said! Pesky meningitis. Not brain cancer.
Dr. Hoberman walked in the room and I swear as she did I could hear the train start up. She explained that I could be admitted to get the tests going right away or go home and schedule the tests as an outpatient. We wanted to get it done. Get these tumors out of me NOW! I was decided to send me to Spectrum because they have a bigger pool of brain surgeon’s to work with and that’s also where one of Dr. VanderWoude’s offices is.
So I boarded the train. This train was darker. Not cheery. Not comfortable. Cold. As I rode the train to Grand Rapids it was dark and as light fell through the windows I saw signs before me “Brain Cancer” “No new body for you” “How much longer” “What about your family” “What do I do now”. There was no overhead music. No brightness. Disbelief. Dispair.
We arrived at Spectrum where we were well taken care of. We had many well wishers and great nurses who took care of us. The first night at the hospital was busy. I had an abdominal CT scan at 10:30 at night and a head MRI at 12:30 a.m. I had a bone scan the next day at 3. The CT scan and bone scan both showed no signs of cancer – PRAISE GOD! The MRI, however, showed six tumors throughout my brain. It was explained that our brains have a natural defense against poinsons (chemo) going to the brain so my cancer spread the only place it could – my brain. I have three large tumors in my cerebellum, two towards the top of my head and one on the right side of my head. So far I can do everything I used to do. I’m mobile and can still type on my blog. The thing I miss the most is driving. I’ve decided not to drive because of my risk of seizure. But thanks to the great support I haven’t had a problem getting anywhere. Aside from being very tired I’m okay. I know I wouldn’t be this good if it weren’t for the prayers that are being said on my behalf – thank you.
I was released from the hospital on August 3 and have been undergoing full brain radiation treatments in Holland. When I’m finished with radiation (roughly 9 more visits) I will begin exploring Mayo Clinic and some other options that have been presented to me. I plan on working closely with Dr. VanderWoude and greatly respect her advice for my next steps.
Please pray that God will continue to hold our family and friends up the way only he can. Things are working really well for us right now. Dusty is in a deep peace of mind and that is so comforting to me. Brooklyn has been spoiled with a social calendar unlike anything I’ve seen before and the babies are doing great with grandma and grandpa. Samantha is even showing interest in potty training! YIPPEEEE.
If you haven’t had a chance to read my post to my dad about his last day of work and would like to do so, please do it. I would love if you could share a memory or story in the comments section so I can print those for him. He will love to read them. It will make his day!
P.S. There were no train rides. It was just a metaphor.
Prayer Requests:
No Nausea
Good sleep at night
No Headaches
Continued energy for my parents, family and friends as we walk through this together.
Thank you to all the radom acts of kindness that are being given to us – gift cards to restaurants, Captain Sundae, fundraisers, bake sales, the list goes on and on and I just don’t feel worthy. God has been good to our family. I believe he will carry me through this too.
My goal is simple: Stay alive. Raise my kids. Nothing else matters.
You are a gifted writer Lindy. I think about you alot. and pray for you even more. Lately i have been waking up in the middle of the night and cannot sleep because i feel like i need to pray for you. By the way you looked awesome when i saw you at Carters this morning. Big hug to you today. I will never stop praying for complete healing! I believe that God is going to heal you. hang in there. Love you!
Lindy,
Continually praying for you to have a completely healed body. Thank you for sharing your journey with your friends (and with their friends). You are touching many people with your faith. Your goals, although hard for us humans in our finite minds and power, are so incredibly easy for God in his infinite wisdom and power. Keep believing in His great plan for your life!
Hi Lindy….. This is a “Dad” story. It was 15 years ago this past June when we had a 10″ rain fall in the Holland and Zeeland area. You and Dusty were dating at the time. Mom and I were in Chicago.
Water backed up into our lower level of our new home. You called your Dad. He came over and pulled up the toilet so the water had a place to go. You all broomed the water to the bathroom area. Your Dad saved the day because only the carpet and pad got wet. The water did not get into the walls. I will always be gratefull that Dusty was a dating
a girl whos Dad was a plumber !!!!Thanks again Mel !!
Our God is an awesome God….He can provide for us in ways that we cannot understand.
You continue to write, Lindy. You have talent and many are comforted by your words.
Praying for you today.
Love and hugs.
Everytime I wake up during the night I pray for you. Anytime I turn onto your road because 104th is closed and Paw Paw is my “shortcut”, I pray. Anytime I go onto Riley past your old store, I pray (for all of the specifics you mentioned above). Have a good day tomorrow.
Mel Vander Zwaag is our hero!
Dale Zimmerman & I (Mary) were living in our Doublewide (a step up)Mobile Home in Zeeland. It was winter and all the pipes had frozen for way too long.Dale said “call Mel Vander Zwaag”.I hesitated,It was already starting to get dark. Six P.M. in the dead of winter. Anyway,we called Mel and sure enough he said “Yes”. What a GODSEND! An hour or two later, Mel unthawed the pipes and came crawling out from under the skirting of our mobile home. The back of Mel’s Carrhart Jacket was covered with leaves, dirt, etc.
To top it all off, he was kind enough to charge us some ridiculous,low price. What a guy!
Lindy…I am praying for comlete healing! You can do this. Love ya.
Lindy, I am up praying for you. I believe that you will be healed in Jesus’ Name because of your great faith in Him. I love hearing from you everyday. I am praying for all of your requests and more! Sincerely, Claudia
By the way…I would love to meet you some day. There will be plenty of time for that.
Lindy – It is likely you don’t remember me since I haven’t really seen you since we were about 10 🙂 My neighbor was a good friend of yours and brought me along to your house for a day of fun on the trampoline and a bike ride to Dairy Y.
I have several people in my life who are following your story and I am one as well. I am truly amazed at your strength, courage, your always uplifting attitude, your sense of humor, your brutal honesty and your faith.
I now live in North Carolina, and please know that your story is everywhere – I share your blog with friends and all of you are in our thoughts & prayers.
You are blessed with an amazing family and support system, which is so wonderful. The love for you & your family is clearly overflowing and I’m thankful for that from afar.
I will continue to follow your journey, think of you and pray for you and your whole family. Keep up the wonderful attitude and continue your fight. You are so strong and inspirational – if anyone can fight this I know it’s you.
Please take care of yourself (as I know you are) and all of us will continue the thoughts and prayers!
Lindy,
I am praying for you, Dusty, your beautiful children, and the rest of your family and friends. Your faith is spoken so clearly through your beautiful writing – those who know you and are touched by you are truly blessed. What a witnesses you are being to so many.
Rest in God’s strength.
Tammi
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