Ver Beek Blog

Our young family battling stage IV breast cancer one day at a time
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Good News and Bad News

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I hate it when people say that, don’t you?  What do you want first?  I usually ask for the bad news first.  So I’ll starts there.

First, thank you to everyone who has prayed for me and my family with this past trip to U of M.  Last weekend (Friday and Saturday) I went to U of M to have my usual tests done.  Today Jill and I went to get the results.  We met with Dr. Schott and while my brain  and bones looks good, my lungs don’t.  I have three tiny spots on my lungs.  They are from my original breast cancer.  This is an aggressive cancer that has metastised not only in my brain, but is now building a home in my lungs.  Stupid cancer. 

When Dr. Schott delivered the news, I sat in shock.  I don’t know if it was my eyes or Jill’s eyes that welled up first, but as soon as Dr. Schott offered the tissues we were done for.  I sat there fighting tears and the need to cry.  Telling myself “pull yourself together” and “you need to listen to what she’s saying”.  So jamming my jaw shut and focusing on a medical instrument across the room I retrained myself as best as possible.  Finally someone asked, “what are you thinking?”  All I could say was “Oh Sh*t”.  Sorry mom and dad.  But that’s all I was thinking.  Oh  ….  the cancer is building a new home.  Oh  ….  the cancer is trying to steal more time away from my husband and kids.  Oh …. the cancer is burdening my family AGAIN.  Oh  …. just when I was starting to feel better.  So yes,  I’m sorry if I offend you, but oh sh*t is all I could say.  To follow that up, how dare it return?!  How dare it after all it’s done to my family and friends return to a new spot and take up residence.  Stupid cancer. 

As I said with brain cancer, I’m gonna go down swinging.   Now we’re faced with another decision to make.  How to treat these little spots.  I have three options.  1.  A chemo pill.  2.  Wait and see if the spots grow.  3.  A clinical trial.  We have a week to decide.  We’ll be praying hard. 

The good news is that we’re moving into our new house tomorrow!  We are excited for that change.  I’ll miss our Paw Paw drive house and all our neighbors.  Everyone has been so good to us. 

Please pray for us as we make a treatment decision. 

23 Responses to “Good News and Bad News”

  1. Rachel Baird says:

    I’m in shock too. This is so, so unfair. I wish I could take it from you. Or fight the battle for you. Stupid cancer. Stupid, stupid, [insert every swear word] cancer. Praying for you always.

  2. Jamie says:

    Hey there. Long time follower of your blog,first time commenting.

    I am so sorry for the bad news. Saying ‘that sucks’ really doesn’t even cover it.

    Praying for peace while making your new plan, telling your kids, and working through going back through treatment.

  3. Megan Van Kampen says:

    STUPID CANCER!!! This is not fair and you have every right to feel the way you do so don’t apologize! I will pray for the right decision to be made, for peace and comfort over you at this time, for your family, for Dustin’s strength and for God’s grace and mercy over you and your family. He can still work a miracle! You are so strong Lindy and have come so far. Stupid Cancer will not win!

  4. Barb Dannenberg says:

    Praying for you and your family – as always! Will NOT stop praying for a miracle!

  5. Karen Cover says:

    I too follow your blog, the first time I read it I felt compelled to pray for you (and Kristi) I have cried and prayed as if I know you personally. (I guess that’s what God means when he refers to us as brothers and sisters in Christ) 🙂 I will pray hard for you and your family as you make a decision this week. I pray that you feel Gods love and guidance more than ever! you do have the right to feel angry! I think that is good – it will help win this “stupid cancer” and then we can all rejoice in Gods miracle (Im claiming that for you!)
    God is in control! “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

  6. dad ver beek says:

    Hey Lindy….I arm wrestled with God last evening after Dusty called me.Asked Him why He was putting you through this again. I heard Him answer me a short time later or maybe it was mom’s voice I heard. The voice said your character is being tested one more time. Your Faith has been strong and you have been an inspiration to so many. He needs to use you just a little bit longer. We all trust in the Lord. Love Ya So, Dad

  7. Karen Heyboer says:

    Praying. Praying. Praying for a miracle from the Healer & Great Physician!

  8. Rachael Budiwarman says:

    I am heartbroken to read this mix of good news bad news. I know that you and Dusty will pray hard for the right decision on what course of treatment to take. You have come so far and even this will not knock you down. Sending lots of love and prayers your way!

  9. Marge says:

    It’s not fair , I hate it and I’m so angry!
    I’m still praying for total healing and believe it will happen.
    Also praying for Dusty and the kids and for the right decision to be made.
    I plan on seeing you at the pool sometime.
    Take care!

  10. Amy Sluiter says:

    I’m so sorry to hear this, Lindy! We’ll be praying for wisdom, healing, and peace! Congratulations on the move!!

  11. Marcia Hoeksema says:

    sorry you have hard decisions to make AGAIN!! prayers for you and your family… Even though we are farther down on Paw Paw we will miss you.. Enjoy your new home

  12. julie meyaard says:

    STUPID cancer is right and oh sh– is a mild use of words with all that cancer has tried to rob from your precious family…BUT we know the truth that it cannot take away the promises with have in Jesus…promises of love, hope and faithfulness.
    Love and prayers.

  13. Sue Ensing says:

    Praying for you and your family, we love you guys!

  14. Melissa Jo Schrotenboer says:

    Praying for you and your Family

  15. Joann says:

    Lindy, I am right there with you. I have been fighting her2 breast cancer for two yes and a couple of nodules were just found in a chest scan. All I can do is tell myself that I am ok today. Today is all we have to worry about but it is so darn hard. I have three kiddie and a great husband and it has been a tough go for them sometimes. Particularly when I fall apart. All I know is that my children will hopefully learn from my husband and I how to handle trials in their life. Honestly, there were times when I felt like checking out , but that’s not what I want them to see how you handle a problem. Thankfully I’m past that point now, but it is so hard. Sometimes I feel like I’m spinning out of control and I want to scream and run away. There’s no where to go but to the Fathers throne and ask your sisters and brothers in Christ to hold you up there. I get my results on we’d and then a pet scan, which I seriously medicate for.yucko. I will be lifting you up in prayer. Stay wrong dear one. Love from Florida.

  16. Joann says:

    Whoops I meant I have been fighting cancer for TEN years, not two.. I hope that is a bit more of an encouragement.

  17. tracy meyer says:

    Oh no Lindy!! I will pray that God helps you on making the best decision, and I will keep praying for the miracle that I know God can give!
    On a lighter note, enjoy that new house! Hope to see Brooklyn this summer! Praying for you everyday!!!!

  18. Jana Ver Beek says:

    Praying for you as you begin another week, Lindy. I’m very sorry about your Grandma. Let me know if there’s anything you need. ((HUGS))

  19. Kris Nonhof says:

    Oh Lindy! I believe I have only met you once. Missy introduced you to me as a fellow twin mom. I have been following your blog for sometime and have been praying for you and your family right along. I am in shock along with everyone else. I just want you to know that your faith and strength have been such an inspiration to me and I will be bending God’s ear often along with so many others! Your Sister In Christ, Kris

  20. Betty Kroll says:

    Hi Dusty and Lindy; Just read your blog and want you to know that I will be praying for you and your family. God has a plan for your life and we will pray for that to come to pass. Remember I am still here to help with the ironing.—Enjoy the new house.

  21. martha says:

    so sorry to hear of your setback, it’s just heartbreaking. praying that God lifts you up and carries you thru this!

  22. Lil Koning says:

    Praying for you, dear Lindy.

  23. Livvy Zimmerman says:

    Lindy, I just got caught up on your latest posts. I had no idea. I’m so sorry to hear the stupid cancer is back. And I’m sorry to hear about your Grandma, but so happy for her at the same time. I don’t know if you’ve made your decision yet on how to proceed, but we are praying that it’s a clear and confident choice for you. Thinking of you, as always. I hope you’re enjoying your new home and we can’t wait to see it!

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