Ver Beek Blog

Our young family battling stage IV breast cancer one day at a time
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Snap Back to Reality

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A few months ago when I found out I had more cancer, I had an epiphany.  For two and a half years we’ve been praying that God will take my cancer away.  I’ve been prayed over.  Prayed on.  Hands have been put on me in prayer.  Prayed beside of.  Annointed.  We’ve begged God to heal me.  People I don’t know and have never met pray for me.  Beautiful little children pray for me.  Congregations pray for me.  People in other cities, states and countries are praying for me.  All of these people have said a prayer on my behalf! 

I know God hears these prayers.  Yet He is choosing not to answer them.  That hurts.  It’s confusing.  It’s personal.  I know He loves me and He can heal me, but He won’t. He’s choosing to let the cancer win. 

I was tired of begging for healing.  So I took a new approach.  Complete submission.  His will is perfect.  If His will is for me to have cancer, so be it.  I don’t understand it.  I don’t think I have to.  What I do understand is that He loves me.  He loves my family.  He will take care of my family.  His will is perfect.   So that is where I rest.  I’ve had so much peace since that epiphany.  No more wrestling with Him.  Simply submitting to His will.  He is in control.  

Yesterday I met with my doctor at U of M before chemo.  It was a wake up call.  Apparently I was living in an alternate universe where I thought I could still beat cancer.  I thought with the right concoction of drugs we could kill every last cancer cell and I would get my life back.  That is not the case.  There is nothing, short of a miracle, that will get rid of my cancer.  My disease is too progressed.  They’re giving me chemo to give me a longer life.  The Clinical Trial I’m on will not cure my cancer.  Nothing will.  We’re biding time.  They want to keep me alive and comfortable.   

I was told I am going to die from metastatic breast cancer.  That I should do things that I’ve wanted to do.  I’m only going to get worse.  That I should talk to my kids if I haven’t already.  No time limit was given.  All of that was hard to hear, especially before getting poisoned.   

It’s so unfair to Dusty and my kids.  That’s the worst part of all.  They have to suffer because of this disease. Thank you for your prayers. 

Please don’t stop praying.  Please be bold and ask for a miracle.  Please pray for my family and friends.  Prayer Requests:

    • My Family

    • Peace

    • A Miracle

    • A Cure

33 Responses to “Snap Back to Reality”

  1. dad ver beek says:

    Dearest Lindy…..I’ve said it many times. You’ve had one miracle in your family,God can do it again. Last Sunday evening Pastors Scott and Tom and myself with arms around each other prayed a prayer of thanksgiving for Samantha. It was Three years almost to the day that God performed a miracle on her life. We also prayed that God will perform a miracle on your life. I thank God every day for what he has done for Samantha. I believe that I will be able to thank Him everyday for what He is about to do in your life also.I’m so happy for you that you have submitted to His will. Blessings Lindy. Love Dad

  2. Jana Ver Beek says:

    I wish I could be as eloquent as my Dad, but this is what I have to say…..CANCER SUCKS!!! Even though that is what I want to shout from the roof tops, I also know that God IS IN CONTROL! Know, Lindy, that I am praying for that miracle.

  3. Dani says:

    Oh Lindy…..My heart breaks for you, Dusty and the Kids. God is perfect and in his time you will be healed. Cancer sucks!!! I hate it. I hate what it is doing to you and your family. God has a plan. I’m not sure what it is but he loves you and your family. I will continue to pray for a miracle. Hang in there.

  4. jen says:

    I am one of the people that you have never met, but I can honestly say I have sincerely and truly prayed for you for 1 1/2 years. I have cried and begged God on your behalf. I continue to pray for a miracle and if that is not be had, I pray for your comfort. So I just wanted to really tell you that there really are people you don’t know praying fervently on your behalf.

  5. Mindy says:

    I have not, nor will I ever stop praying for that miracle. I believe they can happen…I have seen it happen. It WILL happen….
    Much love to your family.

  6. Christina Adamski says:

    Oh Lindy, my heart breaks for you. I have been praying for you every day for a long time now and I will continue. You are God’s child and he will care for you always. Don’t give up Lindy!

  7. Rachel says:

    Reading this makes me cry and turns my stomach inside out. I can’t imagine what it does to you. To Dusty. The kids. This is beyond unfair. It’s devastating, horrible, incomprehensible, and I am so, so sorry. I love you all and my prayers will not cease.

  8. Becca Wyngarden says:

    Wish that I could hug you right now. At the same time I’m so happy that you have arrived at this place of surrender because I know the peace that it can bring. We will continue to pray for peace and comfort for you and your family. There is no question that we serve a loving God.

  9. Jann Kolean says:

    I know it’s been a long time since we’ve even seen each other but I too have been praying for you and your family. May you all have a sense of peace as time goes on. I will pray for a miracle! If only we could understand God’s will. Since you and Dusty are the same ages as Jon and Sara, it’s even harder to hear about your experiences. I think of them going through this and I can’t even imagine. Just know that no matter what, you’re all in God’s loving hands, always.

  10. holly heeres says:

    Isaiah 58:8 “Thy light shall break forth as the morning, and thy HEALTH shall spring forth speedily; and thy righteousness shall go before thee: the glory of the Lord shall be thy rear guard.”
    Psalm 30:2 “O LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me.”
    Lord we cry out to Thee on behalf of this beautiful wife and mother…..Heal her Lord….she has surrendered to Your will….let that will be long life. In Jesus name we pray it believing that you hear us and will answer.

  11. Anonymous says:

    I too am one of those people you have never met, but I have heard your story and have followed your blog. You are AMAZING! You have held on, and fought the good fight. You are a winner! Your story has left a footprint on my heart. A friend at my Bible study said that satan doesn’t want us to die, he wants to keep us on earth to torture us. How cool is that to know that God has something greater in store for you, and satan is loosing!!!!!!!

  12. julie meyaard says:

    I wish I had the perfect words or a profound verse to share. Please know that I am praying for you many times a day. Please know that your honesty and sharing have changed my life for the better. Much love to you and Dusty and the kids…”He never let’s go….”

  13. Amy Sluiter says:

    Lindy… I wish I had the words to say. I am so very sorry. Cancer sucks!!!! Thank you for sharing your faith and your journey so courageously. God is being shown and glorified in your life. We will not stop praying for a cure for cancer, for healing for you, and for complete and perfect peace for you & Dusty & the kids. You are so very loved! “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpases knoweledge–that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do IMMEASURABLY MORE than all we can ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:16-21
    Love you guys!
    Brent & Amy

  14. Megan Van Kampen says:

    I will NEVER stop praying for you and your family! I still believe in a miracle for you. I love when doctors tell patients ‘there’s no medical reason you are better.’ He is still capable and there’s still hope! You are so unbelievably strong and yes He does love you so much.

  15. Lil Koning says:

    Dear Lindy,
    Struggling for words to express … I echo the sentiments shared by friends above, and Dad VB’s prayers for a cure, for a miracle.

    “IMMEASURABLY MORE than all we can ask or imagine …”

    Love to you,
    Lil K.

  16. Marcia Hoeksema says:

    Dear Lindy & family,
    Wishing I had words to make you better… Know you all have our prayers,each and every day.. Prayers for that miracle!!
    Hang in there!

  17. Jennifer Nagelkerke says:

    Continuing to think of you and your family and pray for you daily . . . You are on my heart so many times each day. Blessings to you.

  18. Anonymous says:

    I am also one of those who have heard your story and check your blog now and again to see how you are all doing. I pray for you and your family whenever God brings you to mind. Your post just reminded me of a little book I read awhile ago called “Don’t Wrestle, Just Nestle” by Corrie TenBoom. I will continue to pray as you have asked!

  19. karen A says:

    continuing to pray for you and your family, I remember the day that I decided to stop my chemo and I put it in the Lord’s hands. Jesus knows that exact day and hour of our death and we just have to live every day to it’s fullest.

  20. Betty Morren says:

    Lindy, still praying for a miracle every day. Also praying for your family. God is there for you and your family.

  21. CATHY says:

    We’ve never met but I too have been praying for you and reading your blog. You have fought the good fight. What courage it takes to go through what you have. Remember that when we wonder if God is walking next to us know that it is at this time God is carrying us. When you cry He cries. I pray for total peace in your future. God bless you and your family.

  22. anonymous says:

    I’m also someone you’ve never met. I’ve been following your blog for awhile. I want to thank you for your strength in writing your raw emotions. You have been a blessing to me. I pray for a miracle and for peace for you, and for strength for your husband, and for your kids to feel secure and to know that God is with them all the time. (I found your husband’s blog recently and he sounds like an amazing husband and Dad.)

  23. Pam says:

    Still praying for you…

  24. Livvy Zimmerman says:

    Lindy, you are one AMAZING woman. I love that you have found a sense of peace in knowing that God’s will is perfect. Easier said than done. We are still human and we still have a desire to live (on this earth), to be with our friends and family, to watch our children grow. I’m not a parent, but I can only imagine how it makes this all the more difficult. Lindy, we are praying for a miracle. And we won’t stop praying.

  25. Betsy Kikstra says:

    Lindy- I too am someone you don’t know who has been praying for you- I read this a few days ago and didn’t know what to say- I still don’t, but just want you to know that your strength, transparency, and faith through this trial have been an amazing witness to me and so many others. I will continue to pray for you and your family, and for a miracle!

  26. Jana Ver Beek says:

    Praying that as each day passes this week you feel better. I’m already praying for next week’s scans. “Pray without ceasing”, seems I’ve been doing that for the last 2.5 years and will continue. ((HUGS))

  27. dad ver beek says:

    Dear Lindy and Dusty……I

  28. dad ver beek says:

    Dear Lindy and Dusty….. I know for sure that you are going to have potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner. Your dad was out on the back deck pealing them Wed P.M. Nov 23rd and he is outside making your dinner. I’m so thankful for you and your family. Your mom and dad are the greatest people alive. I told them I was thankful for them this season. You and Dusty have been a blessing to me and I am so thankful for you both.God’s riches blessings to you both. Love Ya Dad

  29. martha says:

    lindy, we’ve never met, but i’m another person who has been touched by you and your fight. i read your blog regularly, and celebrate the victories with you, and cry over the defeats. my heart breaks for you and your family, i can’t imagine, looking at my 2 young boys, how it would be to have to prepare them for something like this. it gives me joy to hear you’ve found this strength to trust in God’s plan, but if it’s ok with you, i’m going to keep praying for your miracle! 🙂

  30. Chase says:

    Hi Lindy, we have never met but cancer has also affected me and my family. In the beggining of october my Mother passed away of unknown primary, stage four cancer, 11 months after being diagnosed. If there’s one thing that my Mom taught me before she passed away is to never give up. Please, never give up hope. You’re in my prayers.
    -Love, Chase

  31. Shana Washington says:

    I will continue to pray for you and your famiy Lindy.

  32. Jana Ver Beek says:

    Merry Christmas! Praying you are making many memories with the family. See you soon!

  33. Brian Stephenson says:

    I completely agree with your assessment that it is God’s hands how this turns out and most importantly it isn’t how much faith you have because great Christians die each day. Take Linda Yonker for example, I never known a woman more committed to Christ than her yet God left Stephen without a wife and Nathan and Rachel without a mother.

    Life happens, some of it definitely isn’t fair, but it is how we deal with it that makes us who we are. You are doing a great job of keeping His light shining!

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