Last week was a difficult week.  After I lost consciousness on Monday, I came home Monday evening.  I was still a little shaky and didn’t feel completely right, but after a 10 day stay at Spectrum I was happy I didn’t have to stay in the hospital.  If you want to know why I lost consciousness, read on.  If you don’t, skip to the next paragraph.

I have always had low blood pressure.  Before cancer, before kids, since I can remember I’ve had low blood pressure.  When I was in Spectrum for 10 days, the nurse would come in my room to take my vitals and dispense my medicine.  After taking my vitals, they would always comment on how low my BP was and ask me if that was normal to which I would say yes.  They would say “then I’m not giving you this drug”.  It turns out “this drug” was Propranolol and it lowers your BP.  Day after day, nurse after nurse, this drug was held back because of my low BP.  However, this was not properly communicated so when they sent me home Sunday afternoon, with a list of discharge instructions and prescriptions Propranolol was on the list.  Like a good patient, I took the medication Sunday night  and again Monday morning.  Monday afternoon I was feeling so strange that I laid down to take a nap.  I woke up to my muscles being very tense and I knew immediately something was wrong.  Thankfully Dusty was home.  He came inside.  Tried walking me to the couch and that’s all I remember.  I woke up on the floor.  He was on the phone with 911.  I spent a few hours in Holland Hospital’s ED where Dr. Loos figured out that it was indeed the Propranolol I should not be taking.  Thank you to EVERYONE in Holland Hospital’s ED.

Tuesday was spent resting.

Wednesday I had my second round of chemo.

Thursday was spent resting.

Friday I woke up at 4 a.m. in a good amount of pain and a hard time breathing.  I got up, took a Vicodin and tried to go back to sleep.  Vicodin did nothing for the pain.  Dusty went to work.  Jana picked up the kids and took them to her house and as the morning went on, it quickly got worse and I noticed the only way to breathe well was to lay down on my side.  I called Dr. VanderWoude’s office, and was eventually advised to go to the ER.  My parents, who were already at the house with me, drove me to the ER.  Sitting in a reclined position in the minivan was hard to breathe.  We pulled up to the ER entrance.  My dad grabbed a wheel chair, I got in it and the more I sat upright, the shorter and shorter breaths I took.   I eventually felt like I was going to faint.  Needless to say, when I told them I can breathe better when I lay down.  They took me back to a room, put me on a bed and laid me flat.  Within a few minutes I was able to breathe better and come back, so to speak.

It was frustrating because my oxygen looked good, BP was good, heart rate was good, labs looked good, EKG was good, X-ray was good, but I knew something was wrong.  It turns out the CT Scan showed I’m collecting fluid in my right pleura or lung area.  It also showed the pericardium is inflamed.  I now of Pericarditis with Pleural Effusion.  Pericarditis, as Dr. Sak explained has a respiratory element to it.  When the lining is inflamed, it feels like sandpaper rubbing the lining of my lungs.  That’s why I couldn’t take deep breaths and was breathing so shallow.

So the window they put in at Spectrum is working.  I, because of the cancer and inflamed pericardium, am producing too much fluid that it is dumping out into my lung causing an effusion in my pleura.

I was admitted to Holland Hospital Friday morning and was kept for two nights while they ran an anti inflammatory drip, kept my pain under control so I could breathe and debated amongst themselves whether to stick a needle in my pleura and aspirate the fluid.

Sunday morning I had another x-ray and Dr. Sak (who is a gem of a doctor), determined that due to the anti inflammatory drip, and comparing the most recent x-ray to the CT scan my fluid had already decreased.  There was also an argument that the fluid was sitting so low in the lung that they ran the risk for puncturing my liver.  Well, NO THANK YOU.  I have had enough for a few weeks.  Where should I sign to get my belongings back?

My life right now is pain pills, anti inflammatories, chemo, lots of rest and so much confusion from what has happened over the last few weeks.  Overwhelmed is an understatement.

My husband should wear a Superman cape.  I honestly don’t know how he did it, is doing it and will do it going forward.  Herman Miller has been so kind and compassionate.  We are so thankful for that.  A big hug to Dusty’s boss Bryan, Sharon and the rest of his team for being so supportive.

Not to sound too cliche, but this has been an emotional roller-coaster.  I could not have done this without my husband, parents, Jill, Dani and Jen.

Please pray.

(Update from Dusty)

After ten days in the hospital, Lindy returned home late Sunday afternoon.   We were so glad to have her back with us again!

On Monday afternoon, she collapsed while I was walking her to the couch.  I was able to catch her and guide her to the floor.  She was unresponsive and her color was not good, so I called 911.  After a few short minutes paramedic support arrived and off she went back to the hospital. After a bunch of tests, it appeared a heart drug she was on caused a dip in her blood pressure (or at least that’s what they believe).  They let her go home a few hours later.

We’re trying to get her well enough to take chemo tomorrow.  Please pray for her as she’s tired, scared and very discouraged.   Her body has been through so much, it’s hard for her to imagine she can take much more.

This is going to be a quick update with a bunch of spelling and grammatical errors.

Last Tuesday I woke up not feeling very well and couldn’t stop burping. It got worse as the day went on. My stomach got bigger and more sore but we went on to U of M anyway for our early morning MRI on Wednesday morning.

Thursday I had my first chemo infusion with my stomach looking 6 months pregnant and constant burping.  Jill went to chemo with me and commented on my distended stomach.  Not only was it huge it hurt!  On Friday, Jill called me from work. I ended up in Holland Hospitals ED Friday morning. I had an EKG, Echo, x-ray, ultrasound, lab work and it was found the fluid around my heart had increased dramatically causing my heart and everything down the line to work overtime.  I went into V tach right there in the ED. Crash cart and everything. I nearly died. It was a big deal.  They got my heart under control took me into surgery and drained 600ml off out of the pericardium.  Spent the night, my pericardium filled with more fluid and a sheath was put in and I was transferred to the Spectrum Heart Center ICU.  I’ve been at Spectrum since last Saturday.

On Tuesday, I had a window (hole) put into the pericardium of my heart so if it fills with more fluid it will drain out on its own.  I now sit with two drains coming out of my chest, a hefty scar and a drip of heparin.

Two things will get me home:

1. The drains have to come out.

2. I have to be switched over to coumadin.

We ask for NO visitors (immediate family only) and lots of prayers. Please contact Dani, our point person with questions.

On Tuesday (yesterday), Dusty and I went to U of M for a follow up MRI of my brain.  This is the first MRI since the Stereotactic Radio Surgery I had a couple months ago.  Dr. Heth was happy with the results.  One lesion is no longer visible.  The other lesion is smaller.  This is a very early MRI and the radiation will continue to work.  I’m going back in three months to have another MRI.  Our hope is the smaller lesion will be gone too.  Also, there were no new tumors!  Thank God!

Dr. Heth also put me through what I call Brain Olympics.  I sit on the exam table.  First game is Resist and Pull. I put my elbows out to the side like I’m a clucking chicken.  Resist his pull.  Resist his push.  Next is the Finger Flicker.  I cover one eye and stare at the tip of his nose.  He flickers his fingers into my area of vision and I need to tell him when I can see them.  He does this from all angles.  Then I switch eyes.  Fun.  Third is the Leg Lift and Resist.  I put my legs straight out and lift against his strength and resist against his strength.  Fourth is Finger to Nose.  As fast as I can, I have to touch his finger, then touch my nose.  All the while, he moves his finger around.  Then I switch hands.  Fifth is Blinding.  Stare across the room while he shines a light into my eyes.  The light is so bright it is blinding.

He said I did very good and that I could have a seat on the chair.  I did a triple flip off the exam table, stuck my landing, raised my arms in the air like a professional Olympian and had a seat.  Just kidding of course. cialis online

I just got back from my first round of chemo.  Jill went with me and I must say it was a pleasure having it done in Holland.  No heavy traffic.  No one driving 60 mph in the left hand lane.  No rest areas.  Saved a tank of gas.

P.S.  I hide behind humor.

This is me and Jill just before chemo started.

The appointment with Dr. Schott on Tuesday went well.  I am going on a chemo cocktail of gemcitabine and carboplatin.  I will get it every other week.  The good news (because there HAS to be something good) is the infusions will be in Holland at Dr. VanderWoude’s office.  I haven’t been there for chemo in almost three years.  I was hoping to have my first infusion sometime this week, but that didn’t happen.  Hopefully my infusion will happen next week.

I’m anxious to start chemo because I have a significant amount of pain in my neck and chest area.  I think once the chemo takes hold and starts to shrink the fluid around my heart and the lymph nodes in my neck and chest, I will find some relief.  The doctor found my heart rate is running higher than normal for me.  Probably because of the fluid and enlarged nodes squeezing around it. casino furor

The side effects are the usual suspects.  Hair loss, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, chest pain, fever, chills, cough, sore throat, body aches, light headedness, fainting, severe itching, numbness or weakness, rash, headaches, diarrhea, constipation, drowsiness, low blood counts making me more susceptible to illness.  Ya know…the same ole, same ole stuff.

On Wednesday we are back at U of M for an early morning MRI.  This is a follow up MRI from the SRS procedure I had in March (remember my haute couture halo?).  In the afternoon we are meeting with Dr. Heth, Neurosurgeon, to go over the results and hope that the radiation obliterated the tumors in my brain.

Please continue to pray for our entire family.  It’s hard to get knocked down time and time again.  The only way I can get back up is knowing that people are praying. Please pray for:

– Spiritual & Physical Strength

– Peace

– Chemo to happen this week

– Good MRI results.  Old tumors gone and no new tumors.

If you would like to help in some way, please contact Dani Keegstra, our designated point person.

On Tuesday, Jill and I had a delightful trip to U of M for a CT scan of my chest, abdomen, and pelvis.

Yesterday I emailed Joan, the nurse practitioner, to see if they have the results.  Within one minute of me sending the email she called.  The results aren’t good.  Here is a breakdown of what the CT scan showed:

• Eight spots on my lungs have grown.
• Enlarged lymph nodes in my mediastinum thought to be cancerous which is why they are growing.
• Fluid around my heart and concern that cancer cells are in the fluid.
• Cancer in the bone of my sternum.

There is no question that I will be on chemo.  They have already narrowed it down to which ones would work the best. We are meeting with them next week to decide what is best. The best site where you can buy cialis online from any device: computer, smartphone or tablet. We have great prices that will please you. We are always in touch and happy to every customer! Click right now!

This is a lot for us to digest.  We are angry.  Scared.  I don’t feel ready for another fight.  I hate chemo.  Cancer sucks.  It SUCKS!

I wish I had something positive to say, but I don’t.

Thank you for your kind words, thoughts and prayers.

Please give our family space right now.  We just can’t handle much more than this.  If you would like to help in some way, please contact Dani Keegstra, our designated point person.

\I’m doing well right now.  I love the warm weather and watching the kids play outside.

On Tuesday Jill and I are going to U of M to have a CT scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvis.  As you may remember, I get a bit of scanxiety and it has settled in.  Please pray for safe travels, a smooth scan, for the tumors in my lungs to be small, and for my kids and husband at home.

My Aunt Kathy teaches 2nd grade at Woodside Elementary.  She has shared with her students that I’m sick.  They have written letters to me and to Brooklyn because she is also in the 2nd grade.  I get two letters each week.  When the mail arrives and I see my aunts handwriting on the envelope, it’s exciting.

These kids are awesome.  Their writing is terrific.  I love their jokes.  I love to hear about school.

Kathy’s Class Ivan

Kathy’s Class Alicia R

It’s been about three years since I found my lump.  In mid April 2009, after being misdiagnosed with Mastitis and being put on three rounds of antibiotics, I was officially diagnosed with cancer on Memorial Day Weekend 2009.

Cancer has stolen from me the last three years.  Moments that can never be replaced.  I hate cancer.

However, I have learned a few things.  How to be more compassionate.  How to truly give.  What it means to surrender.  How it feels to talk to your child about death and dying.  How great our church and community is.  How awesome my husband and kids are.  Every giggle and smile.  When I see them running in the yard chasing a butterfly or bird.  It’s the best.  My parents and how much they do to help.  I am blessed because I am being held in God’s hand and cheered on by so many wonderful and loving people.

As for how I’m feeling, since the SRS surgery I’ve had less headaches and am doing alright.  I go back in May for a CT Scan to check on the cancer in my lungs and I’ll go back in June for an MRI to check on the results of the SRS surgery on the cancer in my brain.

Thank you for your love, prayers, cookies, cards and kindness.

Look out proper ladies of London with your fabulous, whimsical hats that are precariously perched on your heads which defy gravity and the slightest breeze.

Stand guard you Fashion Houses of Milan.  Tip:  Begin working on your hat collection of 2013.

Look out Lady Gaga.  You have dared to wear the most outrageous hats, but have you ever worn…..

The Stereotactic Radiosurgery Halo?!?!

I bet not.  Notice the steel frame.  This will stand up to the strongest gale force winds.  The silver will match nearly any outfit.  There is also plenty of room for a straw to fit between the hallow and your face.  The designers thought of everything.  I recommend having your make up applied before the halo.

In all seriousness, I’m very thankful yesterday is done.  It was a grueling day both physically and emotionally.  I was happy that Dusty could be there with me during the halo placement process.  Especially his hand – I’m surprised I didn’t break his fingers I was squeezing SO HARD.

My parents also came along and during the six hours of waiting we watched The Help and chit chatted while I was in a light, blissful fog.

The treatment lasted a couple of hours.  They treated two tumors.  Both in the cerebellum – one on the right and one on the left.  The radiation works immediately and continues to work for the next several months.  I will have a follow-up MRI in three months to see the results.

Currently I have pain in the four pin sites where they attached the halo to my skull.  I’m also quite tired.

When it was over, it was time to give back the crown or as they call the halo.  I won’t miss you crown.  I can’t wait to never see you again.  I’d much rather have a precariously perched hat that doesn’t scare small children and could fly away in the slightest breeze.

Our family and my parents cannot thank you enough for the prayers that have been said for us over the last few days and night.  I know yesterday would not have gone as smoothly without them.  So thank you for not forgetting about us and taking time out of your busy day and lives to remember us.

I had my SRS MRI yesterday at U of M, met with Dr. Hesh (the neurosurgeon), and Dr. Hayman (the radiology oncologist). Upon comparing last Saturday’s MRI to the MRI I had in November, Dr. Heth and Hayman both discovered a new second tumor in my left cerebellum.  Go away cancer.

The SRS (Gamma Knife) is scheduled for next week Thursday, March 1.  March 1 also happens to be my mom’s birthday.   Happy Birthday Mom!  🙂

They will treat both tumors and we will pray that it is again successful.  

We’ll be there from morning til night and then I’ll go home. I’ll spare you the details, side effects, and possible risks.

Thank you for thinking, praying and supporting us.