Today was my sixth full brain radiation treatment (FBRT) and I’m feeling the effects. I’m tired, a little foggy, nauseous and have a terrible taste in my mouth. I have about 11 more treatments to go. When I’m finished with my 11th treatments, it will be another two months before they know exactly how the tumors responded to the radiation. The daily radiation I receive doesn’t mean it’s immediately killing the bad cells. It takes time to show the response. It’s such a scary thing.
Last night was hard for me because I realized I could lose brain function from the radiation. I know I’m not a genius, but I would like to think I’m fairly intelligent and the thought is scary. I’m also not ready to lose my hair again. Dr. Edlund said it will come out by the end of my second treatment week (the end of this week). I thought the days of headscarves, wigs and hats were behind me. Never say never, right? Brooklyn prays every night that “mommy doesn’t loose her beautiful hair”. I just tell her I’m the same person with a whole new look. I think that’s the toughest part for her. What six-year-old wants to see their mom without hair….again?!
Everything is taken care of at home. Max and Samantha are based out of my parent’s house during the week while Dusty’s working. Brooklyn stays home with me if she doesn’t have anything on her social calendar for the day.
Last Saturday I had to talk to Brooklyn about dialing 911. Since I have six tumors I have a risk for a seizure. It’s possible that she’ll be home alone with me if I happen to have one. So I explained that if I start to shake and don’t respond to her that she needs to pick up with the phone and dial 911. She had typical 6-year-old questions:
1. Who is going to answer? Will it be Anna and Riley’s daddy because he’s a police officer, you said?
2. What do you I need to say?
3. What if I can’t remember my address?
4. What will they do to me?
5. Will I go to jail?
6. What are they going to do to you?
Poor kid. It seems like too much for her to have to know right now. She’s a great kid, though and the odds are that she will not have to dial 911. I just want her prepared.
Thank you to everyone who signed up for the group For the Love of Lindy on Facebook. http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=141964462500093&ref=ts
Thank you to everyone who is signed up to participate in the Susan G Komen Race For The Cure on the Laps for Lindy team (see top right)
Please pray for:
My brain function to be protected from the effects of the radiation.
Radiation miraculously takes away all tumors.
Dusty has been an amazing care taker for me and the kids. The phone rang at 10:00 a.m. and when I said “hello?” All I heard was (in a low voice) “take your pill”. Too funny. I totally would’ve forgot. So thanks for those little reminders honey! Please pray that he doesn’t grow tired of trying to “do it all”.
Our kids. They mean the world to us and I want to stay alive and raise them. Please pray that the little ones will have little or no memory of this and Brooklyn will be able to roll with it.
THANK GOD for all the awesome people he has in our lives. People who are fundraising for our family, supporting, praying, visiting, messaging, sending cards, everything. It means more than you know.
Thank you Christy Pacanowski for taking our family pictures before my hair fell out again. You go girl!